Life's Light
by Dante Frutchey
Summary: Silently enduring an abusive and neglective home, Naruto never lets his fake smile and happy demeanor slip. That is , until a certain non-lingual raven haired American shoves his way into his life.
1. Chapter 1

Hello!!** :) **The name's Dante and you are reading my first ever online fanfiction! Go ahead and disclaim now. I DO NOT OWN Naruto OR ANY OTHER CHARACTERS IN THIS…for now. **:D Mwahahaha**

Also, the probably incorrect lyrics are to Trapt's song _Black Rose. _Anyone who knows the proper words, please tell me, I am slightly hearing impaired and don't always understand words in songs because of the music. **XP **

I would also like to say that all views in this are entirely my own. Meaning, yes, angsty references and feelings are completely original.

And, NO I DO NOT NEED THERAPY!!!!!! **): **

Oh, and warning!!!! There IS SEX in later chapters…gay sex….might be because **I am **gay, but that seems to avoid some people completely and I don't want wasted reviews. So, please no homophobic hating, or I will track you down and kill you. I will burn your house and then shave your cat. I will steal your dog. Then I will drown your goldfish. **D: ***cough* I mean, I will politely ask you never to review any of my stories again… **_ _ ^_^;**

But I am a very nice person, so please don't hesitate to tell me your dislikes with any of my stories, please! **XD**

THANK YOU!

* * *

~I just want all of this burning hate to be extinguished, all this inner pain to be numbed…is that too much for a person to ask?~

_I'm not the one who hurt you_

_So why are you so scared?_

_All that you've been put through _

_You don't believe we care_

_I'm not the one who hurt you_

_I'm the only one who cared _

_You need someone to turn to_

_Know that I'll be there_

_Every time I held you_

_I knew that it would hurt_

_Only through the pain_

_I could find a way to love_

~Just make it all stop.~

I gasped, biting my lower lip to muffle the sound. I clutched the razor blade in my trembling fingers, releasing air through my nose. No one would hear though. Even if my music wasn't playing, no one cared enough to check to see why I was making pained noises in the dark confines of my bedroom. No one wanted to check to see why the only child in the household would sob quietly to himself, his parents ignoring his very existence unless he was bringing them attention.

Queasily, I watched the crimson stream down my wrist, dripping onto the black sheets I favored. Strangely, my mouth watered at the sight, beaconing me to lick the blood. Knowing I would regret it, my lips brushing a stubbornly clinging drop. Feeling the thick warm liquid spread, I attached my lips around the deep self inflicted wounds. I shuddered as the salty, almost sickeningly wine-like liquid passed over my tongue and trickled down my throat.

I unknowingly moaned, my eyes opening in shock when I realized I had done it. I let my arm fall as I clutched my head in disgust.

I hate cutting. Honestly I do. But even if I do suffer from a low pain tolerance and slow healing body, biting, merciless pain is the only thing that keeps me from going crazy. I have friends, yeah. I have amazing artistic and singing talent. Everyone thinks my family's the coolest, but in the end it was all a complete and utter lie.

My parents hate me. I was their second child and their one mistake. I cost money, and hell, half the time I got the sick feeling in my gut the man I was living with wasn't even my father. How could I when I was the one child not to look like him? At least my brother has his and my mother's red hair. But no, I'm a fucking blue eyed blonde. My brother ends up being a world famous kendo fighter and their younger son can do nothing but **draw**_. _

But whatever.

I can handle it. I'm pretty popular at school, doing manga, abstract, and still life for money. It pays for my art supplies and knick-knacks that I want, so I manage. I'm saving up for a trip to the hair salon actually. See if my parents can ignore me if I walk in the house with black hair that's chemically straitened.

And friends? Please. My one real friend isn't even here. She was the closest thing to an older sister, someone I could lean on, and my parents want to move us from Germany to Shibuya for my brother's career. And as if a few thousand miles difference wasn't bad enough, my parents have to be all about no long distance phone calls. And my mom comes in talking about how Silecene's grandmother had called saying her and her family had died in a house fire. As if I'd buy that shit.

I wrapped the edge of the sheet around my wrist to stop the bleeding. My saliva had it burning like hell and there were tears in the corners of my eyes. I was going to have to wear my wrist band just to be on the safe side. My parents may not pay attention to me but the teacher's at school sure as hell do.

"Naruto! Get down here! Your brother's here and we're having dinner!" my mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I groaned. Of course. Gaara was home.

"COMING!!" I yelled back, letting just a little spite leak out into my voice. The only reason they bothered was because Gaara actually cared. Rushing out of my room into the bathroom I rinsed my wrist under lukewarm water, rummaging in the medicine cabinet for the bandages.

"Yo! Naruto, you okay in there? Mom called you down five minutes ago," Gaara said through the door.

"I'm fine, big brother! I've just got another head ache," I responded breathlessly. He'd scared me shitless.

"Have you told Mom about those?" He sounded slightly put off; as if he was actually in shock I didn't tell our endearing alcoholic mother about my chronic migraines. "You really should see a doctor about that, you know."

"I'll be just fine Aniki," I said, attempting to sound amused. Now I was stalling. I quickly finished applying the cotton gauze before pulling down my black long sleeve. I opened the door to be greeted by my older, more muscular red headed older brother, who looked at me with skeptical sea green eyes. I was glad he'd ditched the eyeliner and grown his hair out. It made him look less serious, which was the calculating, secretly loud-mouthed, and overly caring Gaara that only I knew.

"See?" I asked, grinning widely. "Just a headache." He looked me over once more before breaking a loose grin of his own.

"Kid, you keep getting weirder and weirder. Come on, we better get down stairs before—"

"BOYS, GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE!!" Our Mother's screech echoed the hall for an eerie second before the click of her heels could be heard walking to the front door.

"Too late," we both murmured as we followed her advice and went down stairs. Our parents stood by the door impatiently, proving it was going to be a strained evening.

---

"Hey Naruto-Kun. Naruto. Earth to Uzumaki. YO MAN, LOOK AT ME!!!"

I pulled my eyes away from the window to gaze wide eyed at a scowling brunette. He had a crumpled sheet of paper in his hand that I recognized as last night's homework. "Dude, do you know the answer to number seven?" he whispered as the bell rang.

I looked at him uncomprehending for a second before pulling out my own homework. "Um, Kiba, I didn't even do it…" I whispered back as the teacher entered the classroom. The Inuzuka groaned as he sat back.

"Shit, I'm so failing this class."

"That's what you get for playing video games when you should be trying to get your grades up," Shino hissed from behind us, his Transition© glasses fading.

Kiba flicked him off as the teacher asked all papers to be passed to the front. "Fuck you, man."

I blocked out the rest of the period until the bell rang for second, in which I got up grunting, ignoring Kiba ranting on about unfair amounts of homework.

I trudged to my locker, taking out my sketchbook and my penciling and inking supplies and decided to go sit on the roof for my free block. That was until…

"Uzumaki. You don't have a class this block right?" I turned around to see lavender contacts and a wry smile. "Because if you don't, that $20 you owe me is null and void if you do me a job."

I groaned for good measure as I hid myself behind my sketchbook. "Neji-kun, do I have to?" I whined.

"Look, I don't feel like doing this for the student council! I need a break. It's easy and won't even take up the whole period, so just do it," he chided.

Sighing arrogantly, I put my sketchbook in my bag. "Fine...what's the job? I might do it. But I absolutely refuse to grade papers!" I said. I was not in the mood for reading thirty different people's hand writing.

Neji smiled widely, opening a folder he was holding. "Good, cuz' this new guy needs to be shown the ropes."

My eyes fell on raven hair that I hadn't noticed earlier. His bangs hung past his chin, framing a pale face that seemed void of emotion. Like he didn't have the ability to smile. Great.

"Awww, come on, anything but that."

"I'm fine on my own."

Both me and Neji looked at the guy.

"Tsk. What is that, an American accent?" I mumbled softly before raising my voice, speaking English. "Your Japanese's choppy; you're pronouncing the syllables wrong."

"Like you have room to talk," Neji snickered under his breath. I threw him a scathing look that he brushed off with a shrug. He walked up to me, whispering in my ear, "This guy **is **Japanese. Apparently his parents moved to California and never bothered to teach him their native language until they moved to Poland. Then they moved here two months later. He can barely speak a word, but he understands well enough. And my English's pretty bad, that's why I'm letting you take over."

I dared a glance at the raven again, who in turn scowled at not knowing whether or not we were talking about him. "So does non-lingual have a name?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"Hn." The bell rang for class to begin, making any stragglers in the hallway rush by. Sasuke was looking out the window, slightly vacant expression on his face. He almost looked like he was lost. And for some reason…that bothered me. Almost scared me. I saw those black eyes following the movement of a freed cherry blossom dancing in the teasing wind outside and it mesmerized me…he wasn't any different from…

_I saw you in the garden_

_I wanted you so much_

_I really thought that you were different_

_Oh, I couldn't get enough_

_I tried to save you from yourself_

_To feel every high and low_

_But the lows dulled the highs away_

_Now there's no where else to go!_

_Black rose_

_Your thorns are cutting into me _

_For the last time_

_Black rose _

_I watched your petals wilt away…_

_I couldn't bring you back to life_

"Alright," I said softly. I looked at Neji, breaking one of my most misleading grins. "I'll show him around. But you **so** owe me." He snorted as I laughed, adjusting the strap of my bag.

"I just better not regret this," I yelled after him as he walked down the hall, still reading his damned folder. I said that for my own sake as well as his. I turned to the raven, who was now eying me with something that could almost be considered inquisitiveness…if those onyx eyes didn't look so dead.

_Excellent mask he's wearing, _I thought with a smirk.

"So, new to Shibuya, huh?" I asked him, remembering to speak English. I put out my hand, nodding. "Naruto Uzumaki."

He continued to silently stare at me until I felt awkward, dropping my arm to my side and clenching my fist. So much for conversation. "Let me see your schedule. I'll show you where all your classes are," I said. When he didn't even respond, I sighed in frustration, running a hand through my tenaciously spiky hair. This guy was either stupid, brain dead or was having a really hard time comprehending the words coming out of my mouth. So, I did the only advisable thing. I turned to leave.

"You're German."

"Wha?" I turned around to see a dry smirk on his face. "And how the hell you figure that?" I asked haughtily. This guy sure was confusing the hell outta me.

"The hair. Your eyes. And your accents heavy. It screams European." Well, wasn't someone smart?

I furrowed my brow at his short response. I couldn't stand the silent type. "What? You want a cookie for figuring it out?" Two minutes alone with him and I was already getting pissed off.

That smirk slid off his face to be replaced by a thoughtful look. He reminded me of a baleful panther, contemplating whether or not to toy with its prey or kill it swiftly. I wanted to shiver under that gaze but I held the urge back to stare unflinchingly at him. To stand my ground.

He dropped his eyes first, and I relaxed as he went into his pocket to pull out a sheet of paper that was folded in fourths. He held it loosely and I took his class schedule out of his hand.

It was a start.

* * *

Wow, I'm shocked! I've never written that many pages that fast!! '**O'** I'm proud of myself!! Honestly! Being on spring break may have something to do with it! **XD** Nothing like a break from annoying peers and drawling teachers to get the creativity flowing, huh?! **:3** Well, I may finish another chapter or two before school let's back in so, okay!! **:O** I shall try!! PLEASE REVIEW!!! **T-T** I will love you forever if you just r&r!!


	2. Chapter 2

ALRIGHT! CHAPTER TWO! This chapter's song is by Limp Bizkit (No one knows who that is… **XD**) _Behind Blue Eyes _is the title of the song, and it is strangely composed, but it seems to fit the over all plot in my head...(I type this before I actually type the chapter, so editing is needed.) I know all the words by heart, so no worries about incorrect lyrics this time! **;P** (Most likely)

I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did while typing it (as the blood circulation to my ass depletes!!) TMI, but I like doing random shit, so ENJOY!!! **x3**

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------No one knows what its like to be hated_

_To be faded_

_To telling lonely lies_

"Wow." That was all I could really say. I looked back up at Sasuke then back at his schedule.

"Hm?" He looked at me blankly for a second before taking two steps closer to me looking at the paper in my hand with contained confusion.

"You have all the same classes as me," I said softly. That was a strange occurrence, to be sure. The only other person with nearly enough of the same interchanging periods as me in either semester was Sakura Haruno, an up beat girl that slightly irked my nerves, what with her outrageous pink hair-dye and all. No person should be that damn…colorful.

Sasuke chuckled once. Or something that could almost pass as a chuckle. More like a cough of amusement. This guy really didn't know how to show emotion and it was starting to get a little creepy. And why show emotion now? This guy was an enigma I half wanted to solve, half wanted to kick in a closet and forget. But that's not my point.

I cleared my throat when I noticed just how close he was to me. Not only did he creep me out, but he gave off an almost dark aura. Just a feeling that traveled up my spine that told me his eyes were boring into me while I pretended to still be looking at the kanji on the page that I was no longer seeing. It made me want to scream…and I had no idea why. But I absolutely refused to let him see that in my expression, so I threw on my most nonchalant face and shrugged.

"Right. So, uh…I guess you can just wander for the rest of this block and lunch if you've got a bento, then meet me in front of this window and you can follow me to third." I said all this in one breath, rushing as I shoved the paper into his chest. For some strange reason my face was red. I could feel the heat in my cheeks, but I was repudiating to admit that it was because he was at such a close proximity. I looked up to see a smirk on his face as those ebony eyes regarded me.

I backed up quickly, turning on my heel and walking in the direction of the doors that led to the staircase that would take me to the roof, I left him standing there.

Why did I get this gut feeling that he understood something? There was something too damn knowing in that smirk.

_No one knows what its like to feel these feelings_

_Like I do_

_And I blame you!_

_And no one bites back as hard_

_On their anger_

_None of my pained will can show through_

I slammed the door behind me, ducking into my corner that over looked the many trees on the school grounds and the bustling road that came with Shibuya. I pulled out my sketch book, but found that I was still shaken by his eyes. Why did those eyes look so fucking familiar?!

_No one knows what its like to be mistreated_

_To be defeated_

_Behind blue eyes_

I pulled up my uniform sleeve tearing off the bandages from last night and stared at my festering cuts. Blood had fought its way through and crusted the thin but deep incisions. And I finally allowed myself a shiver. I was scared to acknowledge it, even to myself.

_And no one knows how to say_

_That they're sorry_

_And don't worry_

_I'm not telling lies_

_But my dreams_

_They aren't as empty_

_As my conscious seems to be_

_I have hours…_

_Only lonely_

_My love is vengeance_

_That's never free_

Those were my eyes.

_Behind blue eyes_

I thought only I could hold that look of blank sorrow. I clenched my fist, watching the severed skin stick up in protest against the strain. I had the strong urge to cry. But I swore something to myself at that moment. I would never let anyone see those dead eyes. Not from me.

"That's not healthy."

My head snapped up to meet the very thing I wanted to do away with. "I said you could wander, not stalk me to the roof!" I was pissed off that he'd come up here. Not only that but he was wearing that smirk again.

"And?" His tone dared me to challenge him. Well, that was an improvement. So I decided to test him.

"You Americans' are as arrogant as they say, huh? Thinking you can just waltz into another country and do whatever the hell you want. That doesn't fly here in Japan. You'll get your ass beat." I had looked away, smirking at my wrist, which had started to bleed again. Fantastic.

"You Germans' think you can just boss whoever you want around, just because you believe you're 'superior'. That doesn't fly anywhere. You'll get your ass shot." My entire body turned in his direction as I squinted against the sun that seemed to be perched on his shoulder as he leered down at me. I hadn't been expecting that.

And I couldn't help but smile.

"Alright smartass, you got me," I laughed. I turned back to my wrist, which had started stinging in the exposed air, so I grabbed the bandages and reapplied them as he stood watching. And thus followed the ever awkward silence. I checked my watch and seeing that there was still half an hour left of second, grabbed my sketch book again.

"You draw?" he asked as I pulled a mechanical pencil from my bag. No shit, Sherlock.

"Mm hm." I didn't say anything else as I started to draw manga aimlessly. I heard a grunt beside me as he sat down.

"You're good," he said softly, watching as I lazily dragged my pencil across the paper. I couldn't suppress the grin that spread across my face as I began doing five-second chibi doodles in the corner.

"Whose that?" Sasuke asked, pointing to the fox boy with whiskers that I had drawn lazily snoozing against the edge of the page.

"Me," I said nonchalantly, beginning another random doodle of a cat.

"I could never draw anime well," he said in a placid tone. I looked at him, slightly puzzled.

"You know about anime?" I asked. He didn't look the type at all despite his Japanese heritage.

"Yeah. It's actually pretty popular in California. I always did like Inuyasha. And there was Hellsing. But I can't draw worth a shit…"

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Not one of my forced, 'let-them-think-I-actually-care-what-goes-on-outside-my-personal-bubble' laughs, but a genuine laugh. He looked at me blankly, but those eyes showed some form of emotion. A spark that showed I had struck a nerve, whether good or bad.

"At least you admit it!" I gasped. The bell rang with that and I started laughing even harder at his slightly put off expression. "Oh Jesus, w…wipe that look off your face!! You look like I just took your candy or something!" I grinned widely at him as I watched those eyes flicker. It was amusement that I saw.

His mouth pulled into an awkward grin as I put my sketch book away, still smiling. Maybe the non-lingual asshole wasn't so bad after all.

"Sasuke-san, do you have a bento," I asked as I stood up, swinging my bag over my shoulder. He just had a 'what the hell is a bento?' look on his face. And I was laughing again.

I felt light. Honestly, how can a guy I've known for an hour and a half trigger such a reaction? I had to admit, Sasuke was one mystery after another.

"Man, we have got a **lot **of work to do with you."

---

My dad's car wasn't in the drive way when I got home that afternoon. Neither was Gaara's, which wasn't a shock since he had an apartment in the much busier part of the city. Hopefully, my mother was sleeping and I could grab some food and sneak up to my room without encountering her. I was happier than I'd been in weeks and I for it to stay that way.

I opened the door quietly to hear one of **my** CD's playing, which meant only one thing. Forget food and get upstairs, lock my door and wait for the storm to blow over. I hurriedly closed the door, locked it just to be safe, and began dashing up the stairs.

"Naruto, sweetie, is that you? Come in here and dance with Mommy!" I groaned miserably, praying my approaching excuse would busy her enough to let me slip out. "You know how I like to stay up to date with you and your brother's hobbies!! And you like to go to these rock concerts and dance," she laughed airily, making me quirk an eyebrow. I can't dance worth a crap and she so knew that. Damn, she had to be even more smashed than usual or she was popping pills again.

"Mom, I'm tired and I feel sick. I'm going to get an aspirin and go to bed instead, okay? I'll…dance with you tomorrow," I said from the middle of the stairs.

"NO! Naruto, come here!" she whined, walking out of the living room with a bottle of imported Russian vodka in hand. As usual, she was amazingly steady on her feet despite being completely wasted. "Your Daddy and big brother left me again!! You're the only one who will come home to Mommy!" There were tears shining in her green eyes as she looked at me with a quivering lip. "Your Daddy has been talking to other woman again and your brother hasn't talked to me in weeks!! He just stays locked up in his room playing his videogames and ignoring me! And your Daddy won't let me go to Paris!"

Situation: My thirty-six year old mother was drinking heavily, crying about being abandoned by her cheating spouse and first born child. She thought we were still in Germany, at home, and she was looking at me like a kicked puppy.

Conclusion: She was having a memory lapse, thinking that I was that stupid seven-year-old again who couldn't see through her obvious attention seeking lies. My brother had called her last night to invite us to dinner. He called every night to let us know how his day had gone. My Father's frequent phone calls were to his secretary and other employees, which almost every one of them are males. And I refused to give in to her pity fest. She was the cheating spouse, the one who wouldn't talk to Gaara unless he bought her gifts and expensive things that she wanted, particularly overly pricey liquor.

"Mom, I'm not in the mood," I said in a low voice, not meeting her gaze.

"Naruto! Don't you dare back talk me! Now get down here, NOW!" Hanging my head, I dropped my bag on the stair and slowly walked down the stairs to stand in front of her, glaring. Her red hair that was normally pulled into a neat pony tail or bun, always done in some elegant way, was in a fly-away mess, her make-up coming off, making her look pitiful. I hated seeing her in this state.

"I'm here," I said through clenched teeth. She smiled sweetly, hugging me. She buried her nose into my hair, sniffling as she squeezed me tightly to her chest.

"Only you love me. Your Daddy and older brother hate me, but you, my little boy, you love me," she said in slurred German. If she only knew how twisted she had her thoughts right now. I remained silent as I scrunched my nose against the sting of strong alcohol in my nose. She'd been drunk for a while. "You love your Mommy, right baby?" I refused to say anything. I had been taught at an early age not to lie, and I spitefully didn't want to be honest now.

"Naruto? You do love me…right?" She had pulled back from me, setting the almost empty bottle of vodka on the hall table. I still didn't say anything as I stared at the Persian rug underneath my feet in distaste. Unnecessary, expensive, showy…and I hated all of it. It was all a sham to me.

A sharp stinging pain in my cheek pulled me from my thoughts as I suddenly hit the floor. She didn't look it, but the woman had a strong arm.

"You. Will answer me. When I. Ask you. A question!!" Her chest was heaving as I rubbed my cheek, glowering at her without saying a word. Her foot made contact with my chest, sending me sprawling again. I clutched what felt horribly like a cracked rib, gasping for air. She grabbed a fistful of my spiky hair pulling me up into an uncomfortable sitting position, breathing in my face, her red hair flying in her face.

"M...Mamutou*!! I'm…ah…sorry!!" I howled, face creased in pain. She let me go, grabbed her bottle and went to turn up the music louder. I got up and climbed the stairs as fast as I could without crying out in pain, grabbing my bag as I went. I locked my door before I screamed in pain, anger, and the understanding that my family had finally met its breaking point.

_In the clouds_

_Or the grave_

_I'll stay if you go away_

_Concrete _

_Tall as the sky_

_Movement passing me by_

_When you blush_

_What a rush_

_A reminisce_

_Cold crush_

_Next door_

_Ear to the wall_

_All the tension made for the call_

_I wish, I wish_

_I wish it was _

_All that easy_

~Just put an end to it all…please.~

*"Mamutou"(ma-moo-too), which I bet you a million dollars is spelled wrong (and my grandmother would slap me for it too) is "Mother" in Polish. It is NOT the proper pronunciation or even word, but I've pronounced it that way since I was five and never bothered to correct my pronunciation as I got older, to my step-father's amusement and annoyance. (He is "Tata" which is obviously the word for "Father" in Poland. No joke! That one's correct!!) "Mama" is plenty common, but when I'm pissed off at her and she starts yelling at me in German and Polish, I call her that and then argue back in Polish since I understand that language a little better. I'm not Polish, but growing up in a house with three Polish speaking adults, you practically become Polish.

I don't own Inuyasha or Hellsing. Actually, I don't even know what Hellsing is. An ex-boyfriend of mine told me about it but it went in one ear and out the other, since I was happily reading yaoi.

This is actually how me and the closest person to me met. (Okay, we were in America, and there was no racial slang, and it wasn't a school and he was black, not Japanese. **XP** And I'm not just German. I'm also Irish and French.) And this was the exact impression I had of him too, to be honest. HE WAS CREEPY!!! **DX** That is, until that fateful day he asked for manga drawing lessons. **O_O** He never did get those lessons either… **:P** SHUT UP!! I'M LAZY!!!!

But love comes to a hopeless person in strange ways.

And the graphic domestic violence was actually a final whim (and sad attempt for personal therapy… **Ox**.) Guess there's another reason for this to be rated mature.


	3. Chapter 3

Wow….um…I still haven't moved since the like, halfway through chapter one and I've been here for six hours on a hard stool hunched over, staring at this shitty keyboard since I can't type without looking at it, and my one true love hasn't come home yet…can I cry now? I have lost all feeling in my ass, I'm tired, but I don't want to stop typing…kill me…someone…please… **T-T** okay, I'm done. This chapter's featured selection is another depressing song, this time by System of a Down and any good fan of theirs loves and can entirely recite the song _Chop Suey! _Which all adoring fans can relate to in one way or another. And anyone who is not familiar, please look it up or I may just kill you. (Getting grouchy, sorry. **)': **)

~There really is no end to this Hell…is there? ~

_I don't think you trust in my_

_Self righteous suicide_

_I _

_Cry_

_When angels deserve to die_

"Uzumaki? You alright?" I saw spiky raven hair and pale features in my peripheral vision and I closed my eyes against the familiar face. I had been grimacing in pain. Trying to run laps with a severely bruised chest was proving difficult but I had gotten pretty good at hiding injuries from my peers over the years. So I smacked on my fake smile and scratched the back of my head as if embarrassed.

"Dude, I slipped and hit the kitchen counter this morning! Hurt like hell too!" I winced again at the strain laughing caused. I probably did have a cracked rib, but there was no going to see a doctor. You can't easily explain a heel shaped bruise on your chest. And all the other bruises. Three days she was drunk and all those days she managed to land more and more painful hits. Four days of dealing with severe chest pain. I couldn't take much more…

"Hm." Sasuke didn't look convinced, but there was really no helping that and he didn't press the situation either, for which I was grateful. I easily played off any other strange questions with the same excuse I used on Sasuke, and every one believed it. I could be clumsy at times and everyone knew it. But I hung back at the end of class. Saying I was tired and everyone laughed, saying I was just lazy. Sasuke looked at me quizzically, but went on ahead as well. By the time I got to the locker room, the bell had rung for the end of the fourth and final class of the day and everyone was rushing to start their weekend. So I was by myself.

I relished in the sound of students rushing to leave, happily exchanging and making plans. Leaning against the cold steel lockers, I released a soft sigh, closing my eyes against the yellow glow of the lights as the voices were carried away with their owners out onto the grounds and their separate homes and lives. As the noise became hushed, I moved to remove my gym shirt wincing at the upward arm movement as it caused a sharp pain that made me gasp.

I looked down at the fading heel shaped bruise that wasn't healing, and the newer bruises surrounding it with a worried frown. I really did heal slowly and it got irritating sometimes.

I heard a locker close making me jump, heart racing.

"Those sure as hell don't look like bruises from falling into a counter," Sasuke said quietly, his facial expression hidden by his bangs.

My mind scrambled for an excuse, but couldn't find one that fit my former story. So much for doing a rehearsed tale.

"Look," I finally said, turning away from him to open my own locker. "It's no big deal. I got into an argument, that's all. I'll be fine."

"You're a bad liar."

I froze at his cold tone, clenching my fist when his words sunk in. I spun around, advancing on him until our faces were centimeters apart.

"It's none of your damn business," I hissed through clenched teeth, my eyes locking with his.

_Wake up_

_Grab a brush and put a little make-up_

_Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up_

_Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?_

_Here you go _

_Create another fable_

"You've known me four fucking days. You know **nothing** about me so you have no mother fucking right to voice a God damned opinion!"

There was an unsettling hush that followed that made me want to keep raving just to break it. We stared intrepidly at each other as I silently fumed. Then he turned away.

"Your eyes give you away," was all he said before grabbing his book bag and leaving a roaring silence in his wake. I collapsed on a bench as I stared vacantly at the blue and green tiled floor of the locker rooms.

_Father into your hands I commend my spirit_

_Father into you're your hands_

_Why have you forsaken me?_

_In your eyes forsaken me_

_In your thoughts forsaken me_

_In your heart forsaken me_

_Trust in my_

_Self righteous suicide_

_I cry_

_When angels deserve to die_

---

Three months had passed. Me and Sasuke were at a silent agreement that he wouldn't ask, and I wouldn't tell. The companionship never left the school grounds and we only shared the barest beginnings of our lives at home. But I guess at that point…you could almost call us friends…

---

"Naruto-kun, make him do that thing where he falls out of his chair," Kiba whispered behind his hand. I grinned as I looked at Sasuke's snoozing body sitting beside me. He'd apparently been busy last night and had fallen asleep almost as soon as class started. He didn't do that nearly as often as I did but it was always funny to wake him up and laugh. Class had three more minutes and I thought we could all use the entertainment.

Putting the cap back on my pen, I eased back in my chair, poking the raven once in the shoulder as I did so. He groaned in protest, turning his head on the desk to bury it in the crook of his arm. I heard three or four of the guys snicker as I poked him behind the ear, breaking into a grin as he protested by whining a grouchy, "Stop…." before sighing as he dozed again.

I looked at the clock, and timing it just right, jabbed him in the side as soon as the bells shrill cry announced the end of the first class of the day.

"GYA HA!!" Sasuke screamed as he grabbed his side, attempting to jump up, before losing his footing and falling on his ass with a loud thud.

"SHIT!" he yelled as the class broke into shrieks of laughter.

"Class is over, teme," I smirked before dashing out the door. He was gonna kill me when he got off that floor, but his face had been so worth it! Going out onto the grounds I half jogged to the old two story library, seeing how snow had started falling and our regular meeting place on the roof would be too cold. The old librarian at the entrance glared as I dragged snow onto the carpet.

I whispered a quick "Gomenasai!" before walking down to the basement as soon as her back was turned to sit at an old, and most likely no longer working computer. I sat catching my breath as a smoldering Uchiha came walking in the door, making me beam.

"I bet someone's awake now, eh teme?" He glared at me before taking the seat beside me, pulling out his DSi© and completely ignoring me as he pulled out his stylus, poking the screen. I couldn't help but pout. He normally would have hit me, yelling how I pissed him off then laugh.

"Nah, someone's in a bad mood," I said, yanking the game console from his hand and looking languidly through his pictures using my finger.

"I'm tired is all," he said, running his fingers through his hair that stuck up just about as persistently as mine did. He yawned widely before pulling the DSi© out of my hand only to shut it off and shove it back into his bookbag.

"So, what, too busy to sleep last night?" I asked, pulling out my sketchbook and cheap colored pencils. I looked at him sideways to see him pressing his right thumb into his left palm. It was a habit Sasuke had that he didn't recognize. It meant that the raven had more on his mind than usual.

"Or…did something happen that wouldn't let you sleep?"

He released a heavy sigh, reaching out his hand for my sketch book as he looked at the open door of the basement computer lab. Opening it to a clean page I handed it to him along with a pencil, leaning back and putting my feet on the table to wait.

The few times we did talk personal, he would always write it down instead of say it. It was a strange way to communicate when we were sitting right next to each other, but it seemed to make him comfortable, so I went with it. I thought maybe I should buy a notebook that we could just trade back and forth. He always had a lot more to say on paper too, come to think of it.

"Here," he said softly. As soon as I took the tablet from his hand, he laid his head in his arms, as if he was going back to sleep. Snickering, I read the paragraph h had written.

**I got into an argument with my dad last night. My brother had left a week ago and wouldn't talk to anyone but me so my jackass of a father thinks he can come in screaming about how I was a family disgrace for HELPING my older brother. Its gay!! Like I should just ignore the only real family I have! Then the asshole starts saying I was always a disgrace and the regular bullshit. He went to hit me but I got him first…the neighbors heard the yelling and screaming and called the cops, so was dealing with them…but I'm fine.. just tired as hell. Mom was hysterical all night. Not like I killed the man, I just broke his nose!! If he hadn't tried to attack me, I wouldn't have hit him. **

Biting the end of my thumb, I looked at Sasuke who was obviously awake. So, instead of talking I wrote out my response.

Wow…I'm sorry.** :( **Parents suck…you could claim insomnia and get sleeping pills to knock you out those nights. That's what I did!! **:D **It's the perfect excuse and legal too! You broke his nose?! **O_o **that wasn't nice!! **D: **But if he came at you, I can understand. Where do you get the courage to do something like that? Cuz I need some of whatever you're having. **OxO** At least to argue back. **):** I've gotten tired of my mom. Dad's never even home anymore…oh, I did cuss out a Korean guy my mom was claiming was at the house to fix something. She was so drunk she couldn't even figure out what it was this guy was supposed to be fixing! **XD** but, like I said, she's a slut, she was so laying him. He left running when I said I was going to sic our dog on him. Remember how I told you Tyler likes a chew toy? I think this guy's leg would have been perfect. **:D **but my spitz got to him first. Missy may be 6" tall, but she's vicious. **X3** ha ha!!

Tapping Sasuke's shoulder, I handed the book back to him. Maybe my sad excuse for humor would cheer him up. I grabbed his bag, and stealing his DSi©, started making a FlipNote© animation out of boredom. A tap on my later five minutes later told me he was done.

**What does a spitz even look like?! O_o didn't you say Tyler was a German Sheppard? Or was it a husky…I can't remember what you told me. . do you like my DSi that much? You could ask before you snatch you know. D: lol I don't really care, I've got two. You can have that one actually. Naruto, guess what?! I know what teme means now and I officially hate your blonde ass! DX :3 lol I'm joking. But this makes you a baka! See? I've been practicing my Japanese in my free time!! You can't say shit about me not pronouncing things wrong now, can you?! HA! :O**

This time there was a smile on his face as he gave me back my sketch book and I couldn't help but smile broadly as I read his reply.

"Moron. I said Tyler was a German Sheppard **and** husky mix. And a German spitz looks like a Pomeranian-fox mix. They're fur color varies from blonde to black."

"So she looks like you," Sasuke laughed. "You never told me you had a kid, Naruto!" I hit his arm playfully, laughing right along with him. If there was one thing I had grown to like about Sasuke Uchiha, it was his laugh. It had a tinkling quality, like wind chimes and bird song. And no one had been able to make him laugh, let alone smile, but me. And that was something that I had gotten used to.

~Just don't kill my only light…please. ~

Damn, that second portion took two days to type!! **D:** But, I got it done. I already have chapter fours plot done, now I just have to find a song on my mp3 that fits along with it, but I'm torn between like, three of them. I'll do a shuffle…or…no wait…DAMN IT!!! ALLERGIES ARE JUMBLING UP ALL MY THOUGHTS!! *sneezes for the fifteenth million time today* Please storm that the weather man said was coming!! HURRY AND WASH AWAY ALL THIS GOD FORSAKEN POLLEN!! **D':** *Sob*


	4. Chapter 4

Ok…um…*drowsy* I'm currently brain dead…it may have something to do with my partner but I'm not even sure I'm so out of it. **^-^;** there are three songs that fit this, but I swore only to use one rock song per chapter or two rap songs, so I must choose!! (Yes, emo white gay boy likes rap and hip hop every now and again. Deal with it.) Okay, one can be used in a later chapter… I'VE GOT IT! **:D** _Somewhere I Belong _by Linkin Park!! **XD** YAYS!!!

~And just when you think it can't get any worse… ~

_When this began_

_I had nothing to say_

_And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me_

_I was confused_

_And I let it all out in mind that I'm not the only person with these things in mind_

_Inside of me_

_What all that they can see the words revealed is the only real thing that I've got to feel_

_Nothing to lose_

_Just stuck_

_Hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own…_

"NO!! Nononononono!!!! NO!!! SHIZA*!!!" I growled darkly before touching the 'Try again' on the DSi© screen. I was playing "_At World's End" _ and had gotten my ass beat by this boss for the seventh time in a row and was about to call it quits and finish my homework.

I was running out of patience, and the fact that my pins were being snatched while I was attempting to use them wasn't helping either. "Stupid, lion-headed, mentally retarded math freak," I said to the darting figure on the screen as I tried to keep health up for both my character and the backup character on the top screen.

_I wanna heal_

_I wanna feel_

_Like I'm close to something real_

"NARUTO!! I've called you down here three times!! Come and eat!" Mom was in a good mood today, for some weird reason, and it was infectious. Not only that but the woman was sober!

"Sorry Mom!! I'm coming down now!" Putting down the DSi© Sasuke had given me, I went down stairs for my nose to be assaulted by the sweet smell of barsht and my grandmother's recipe for potatoe cakes. Fried fish and what I had to guess as duck smelled like the second course. Mom had decided to finally make some damn European!

_If I'm dreaming, __**nobody**__ better wake me up or I'll kill them!_ I thought happily as I walked into the rarely used dining room. My father had a day off, Gaara was home and mom was sober and cooking actual food. This was such a rare treat for me that I honestly couldn't remember the last time we were at home as a family like this without there being yelling, screaming and flying fists.

The open conversation switched from German to Polish to English and hearing my father and mother laughing together was something that I had forgotten the sound of. I hadn't been this happy in years.

_I wanna let go of this pain I've felt so long_

_Erase all the pain till it's gone_

"Naruto, who were you cussing out in your room," Gaara asked lightly.

"My video game. It kicked me around so many times…I think there's a cheat actually…"

"_Just let it stay like this for a few more days and I'll never ask for anything again."_

_Somewhere I belong_

---

"Well…doesn't someone look awfully chipper?" I looked, up my 'secret' grin breaking into a full out idiotic smile. Sasuke smiled back, his red and black scarf caught in the wind, bangs whipping around his face. A cold as fuck Saturday morning, but not even that could stop my cheerful mood. Getting to my slightly numb feet, we began walking in the direction of a popular café off the Crossway. No matter how much snow had piled up, the inhabitants of Shibuya were not swayed from going about their Christmas shopping.

"I'm shocked the she-devil let you out of the house," Sasuke smirked, using one of my more common descriptions for my mother.

"Well, she said I could if I stayed away while she was entertaining guests. Hell, I may even get to come over for the night. Kick your ass on a few video games maybe?"

"Oh, hell no. **You** are not coming **near** my house if I can avoid it! I can already hear the cursing now," he shook his head in mock horror as we rounded the corner, the café's bright lights and welcoming front promising warmth and hot chocolate.

"Well, how about I call you before I show up to detonate your house, huh?" I smiled darkly as I walked in, immediately shedding my gloves and snow covered hat.

"I should have known it!" Sasuke said, eying me with fake malice. "German's just blow up whatever they touch, don't they?! Freakin' Nazi…"

"What the hell? That was pushing it, man," I said in a flat tone.

"What? Hitler was cool…for Satan in disguise."

"Excuse me…?" We both looked up to the confused looking waitress, who obviously spoke English.

"G…gomenasai!" I stammered before ordering a cup of cocoa, coffee and slab of thick chocolate cake topped with wiped cream and strawberries. I was practically drooling, my sweet tooth in over drive by the time she walked away with our order.

"I can't see how you don't like sweets!" I said.

"Naruto, not everyone's like you," he smirked.

"WA! That's not what I said!"

"Well, you unknowingly implied it, baka."We continued arguing good naturedly until our order was brought to our table. As soon as the waitress left with a smile (mostly directed at Sasuke, I couldn't hope but notice, which surprisingly irked my nerves), I attacked the mound of chocolate in front of me, immersing myself in sweet, sugary bliss.

"Slow down," Sasuke said with slightly wide eyes. "You're gonna choke." I swallowed hurriedly, eying him.

"I didn't eat breakfast," I said somewhat sheepishly. I could see him smiling behind the rim of his mug, eyes dancing with amusement again. "What?"

Sasuke set the cup on the table before resting his elbow against the small table, leaning in slightly with another of his annoying 'I-know-more-than-you-think-I-do' grins.

"What?" I repeated, slightly irritated. He chuckled before leaning back into his hair, shaking his head so that his bangs fell across his eyes, giving him a somewhat self-conceited look as he smirked at me in a way I'd seen most of the girls at our school swoon over.

"You just couldn't wait to see me, huh, Uzumaki? Three days on winter break and you're running out of the house to meet me." _That_ was not what I had anticipated him saying at **all**.

"W…what?! Teme! I just wanted to get the hell outta the house before Mom changed her mind! T…that's all!" Even as I said it, I felt my face heat up. Of course I had ripped out of the house as soon as he called asking if I wanted to go out for coffee. I hadn't gotten this close to another human being since Silicene and it wasn't something I wanted to lose any opportunity on.

That…and I felt he was the only person I could relate to.

He laughed again as I took a big swallow of my quickly cooling hot drink in a sad attempt to cover my blush. I sat in a thoughtfully fuming silence as I mulled over his words again. Was Sasuke hitting on me? Or was he mocking me for being overly enthusiastic? Movement caught my eye as I looked up to see him sneakily stabbing a strawberry with my forgotten fork.

"Hey!" I went to swipe at him but was too late before he took half my poor chocolate covered strawberry between his teeth, eyes smiling as he teasingly handed me back my fork. I pouted as I snatched the utensil back only to savagely stab my other strawberry and eat most of it in one bite before the laughing raven got anymore sneaky ideas.

"Jerk."

Window shopping was the only other thing to do since neither one of us wanted to spend money, but we made do. I managed to convince him to walk through an antique shop with me, the age old items sitting on shelves, painted faces and chipped hand made pottery sitting on heavily occupied shelves.

"Sasuke, what do you think about this, hn? It looks like something you might like." I was being overly ecstatic again, but I couldn't hide how happy I was. One of my favorite things was to look at things that once belonged to another. That held precious memories for someone, and a history that you could only imagine and dwell on. And the fact that one of my favorite people was with me could be considered an added bonus.

Sasuke walked up to me, taking the age worn piece off the shelf. I looked merrily from his face to the faded paint on the sculpture of at one point in time must have been a black wolf poised on what could be a cliff, head raised as if to howl mournfully at the moon. Another, slightly smaller and pale colored wolf stood at it's side, head over the others shoulder, it's golden eyes forever staring in the direction of the others feet. Their paws were touching, tails intertwined in a way hands would.

Sasuke's gaze stayed on the small work of art for several minutes. I didn't know if it was my imagination but his eyes seemed clouded for a minute, completely lost in his own thoughts. Looking up at me with a look of minor uncertainty, he put the ornament back on the shelf. "It's nice, but it's not my style really," he said softly. Huffing I walked towards the counter to look at the old jewelry and other trinkets. He followed behind me, silent as I smiled at the older lady behind the counter who was cleaning a small gold pocket watch.

"No, you're just impossible to please," I alleged, observing a oriental charm with a golden dragon painted on it. The scarlet tassels caught my attention, elegantly painted designs tugging my interest. "How much is this pendent, Oba-San?" She took it in her hand, her blonde hair pulled back into four poofy pig tails.

"I'd say it's 4000 yen (about $40), since it is in such good condition." I drooped slightly at the news. I only **had **that much and my art supplies were a little more important. Besides, I had to pay for lunch since Sasuke bought the food at the café.

"Thank you…" I sighed, bowing. "But I can't afford it." Straightening, she looked as if she might reconsider her offer, but I waved good bye and motioned Sasuke to follow me before she could.

"I'll come back after Christmas and see if it's still here…it might be lucky to hang it in my room." Walking near the edge of the side walk caused the wind from passing cars to increase the chill in the air, making me pull my coat tighter around myself.

"I doubt anyone will buy it, but I don't see why you need a Japanese lucky charm. Shouldn't you be looking for something from a little more west?"

I laughed at his logic as we neared the statue of Hachiko. He chuckled too, pulling his scarf up on his face to fend off the cold.

"Let's go sit in the station and see if we can defrost our hands," I suggested, eying the probably warmer stairs to the station's underpass.

"Well, gotta be better th…hold on, will you, Naruto?" I leaned against a wall as he pulled out his ringing cell phone. Seeing who it was, looked at me then walked a little away so that I could only hear the barest snatches of his conversation.

"…near the crossing…went…coffee with a friend…no I didn't…without her knowing…I wasn't planning…few more hours…not doing anything…all the way back?…waste of time!! I'm not…can't make me…fine. I'm…now. Be back…bye." He stuffed the phone angrily in his pocket before looking at me. Silently understanding, I smiled, walking over to him. He looked upset that he was leaving earlier than he had obviously planned to. But I knew personally that parents could be hell.

"It's fine, you know. I'll just catch the two o'clock train home," I said, shrugging to prove I honestly wasn't upset. Sasuke looked at me for a calculating and breath holding second before running his hand through his hair.

"My father's having a meeting at the house with some important people, then leaving for another damn month for business."

"What's that got to do with you?" I asked confused.

Sasuke looked disgusted as he kicked a pile of snow, getting it on a girl in heels, who glared back accusingly before readjusting her shopping bags and going on her way. "I have to fill in for Itachi since da's bosses want to see the 'young prodigy' he was big mouthing about…and since Itachi's gone back to America, I have to pretend to be him…"

We stood in silence for several minutes before he looked at the ground. "I gotta go," he murmured, sticking his hands in his pockets. I glanced at him, trying to think of something to say. Before I could think of anything intelligent, he was striding past me, a half mumbled 'goodbye' the only thing I heard before the crowd swallowed him.

Staring after Sasuke, I had to admit that maybe I was actually too stupid to think of anything cheerful to say when faced with this situation. I turned, walking to the station, finally understanding why I was so pulled to him.

_And I've got nothing to say_

_I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face_

_I was confused_

_Looking everywhere only to find that it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_

_So what am I?_

_What do I have but negativity?_

_Cuz I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me_

_Nothing to lose_

_Nothing to gain_

_Hallow and alone _

_And the fault is my own_

_And the fault is my own_

He shared the exact same pain as me.

---

I heard a crashing noise from downstairs that had me bolting upright in bed. Burglars?! No, we had an amazing security system and the hall light was on. My mother had found the liquor yet again…

Sighing in dissatisfaction as I got out of bed, I walked to the window and threw open the curtains. There was no way I was going to get back to sleep with her crashing around the house. I watched the thin clouds sliding slowly past a half moon. The noise my mother was making dimmed and I began dozing with my chin resting on my folded arms on the window sill.

SLAM

And thus ended rest…

"Mama?" I whined, rubbing sleep from my eyes as my mother stood framed in my doorway. "Mama?" I said a little louder when she stood there still as a statuette. Rising to my feet, I walked over to her, despite my better judgment. "Mom, are you okay?" I rested a hand on her shoulder, only to have it slapped away.

"You." She was slurring heavily, and she actually stumbled as she made a grab at my arms. "It's. Your fault." I stepped back in bewilderment.

"What's my fault?!" she was most likely confused, not comprehending what she was doing, but the wild look in her eyes was different from her other drunk rages. She was clutching her hair, tears running down her cheeks as she gnashed her teeth together before advancing on me, shaky on her feet.

"He…you killed him!" Okay, officially lost. Killed? The last thing I'd 'killed' was an irritating insect. So what was my mother rambling about?!

"If you hadn't…been…I HATE YOU!!" she lunged at me suddenly, smashing my spine against the window, her smaller hands around my throat. The cold from the window was barely registered on my bare skin as my mother tried to strangle me.

Her green eyes were unfocused as her featured creased in rage. "Bring him back!! I want him back!!" She screamed in my face, jerking me forward before smashing me back into the window. All I heard was a crack before I felt a splitting fire tear at the back of my skull.

"M..ah…ka…" Beginning to feel light headed, I clawed at her arms in reflex, desperate for oxygen. I felt my entire body heat up in what I later accepted as adrenaline before I kicked my leg out in one more frantic attempt to escape. Her unsteady legs crumpled as she shrieked in pain, surprise, and obvious misery.

"Minato!! I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Ignoring her cries I grabbed the nearest pair of pants and shirt, sadly attempting to put them on as I ran from the room. Grabbing my cell phone from off the charger, my coat hastily shoved on as I practically jumped into my shoes before dashing out of the house without bothering to close the door.

I didn't stop running until I could no longer breath, my lungs tight and burning as I gasped for air through the sobs I couldn't choke back. Leaning against the hard brick wall of an abandoned building, I opened my cell and hit the call button, my last number contacted flashing on the screen. I put the phone to my ear, trying to stench my tears in vain. The dial tone went only twice before it ended.

_"Naruto? What the hell, it's three in the morning?" _Sasuke's voice sounded groggy. I'd woken him up.

"S…Sasuke…c..ca..can I…come to y…your…pl..place?" At this point I was crying heavier than ever, and shivering. I hadn't bothered zipping up my coat and I was regretting it now.

_"Naruto?! What happened?! Jesus Christ, are you okay!?"_ Sasuke suddenly sounded outraged as well as concerned and that was something I needed to hear.

"I…I'll explain…l..later…" I gasped out, hugging my self against the chill that was settling on me now that I was no longer moving.

_"I'm coming to get you now. Just tell me where you are."_

_I will never know myself until I do this on my own_

_And I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed_

_I will never be anything itil I break away from me_

_I will break away_

_I'll find myself today_

_I wanna heal_

_I wanna feel _

_What I thought was never real_

_I let go of this pain I felt so long_

_Erase all the pain til it's gone_

_I wanna heal _

_I wanna feel_

_Like I'm close to something real_

_I want to find something I've wanted all along_

_Somewhere I belong_

*"Shiza", simply put, is a slang way of saying "shit" in German and is a favorite word of mine to use whenever I'm having a hard time on any video game. I have no idea why I use that word but it just comes out when ever I'm losing…that and "GOD DAMN IT!!! YOUR MOM!!!" That one is always a head turner!! **XD** and I'm dead serious, I actually say that. "Fuck!" is for when I stub my toe. Lol Oh, and barsht is a soap that's made of straight beet juice with sliced beets in it, with some seasonings that I can't remember and noodles stuffed with meats and cheeses. It's one of my favorite meals and I miss it. I never was taught how to make it. **T-T **'Oba-San' means 'Aunty'.

I don't own At World's End. I think it's a Square Enix game, but I can't remember. The bonus chapter on that game is WAY too damn funny!! I have a vampire character in a manga I'm making named Neku. It fit him.

This chapter was emotionally hard to right. I was actually crying by the time I finished…damn…don't take that the wrong way, I'M VERY TOUGH AND MASCULINE!!! Just…sensitive…poor Naruto..

Anyway, please r&r, it makes college bearable!!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 and on my computer, page 35. O_O That's a lot of pages considering I usually lose interest in a story by page ten. (I mean my own stories) Don't worry, I'll keep writing it, this one's actually really good and I'm proud of it!! I may do another one shot just to practice a sex scene, so you may want to expect that. Tell me what pairings you want!! The more votes on one, the more likely I'll do it!! *Wink wink*

Any way, this chapters amazing song is _All the things she said (David Aude Remix Edit) _by tATu. It's originally in Russian, but attempting to type it in its original text is nerve racking and I could only do three lines before the Russian drove me insane, so I'm just going to go it in English. I will tweak the English lyrics as needed. (Just a word changed here or there since this _is_ a lesbian love song. ^-^;)

Enjoy!!

---

I sat silently against the brick wall, shivering. I had managed to stop my crying, but now it was snowing and it was freezing me entirely as I waited for Sasuke to arrive.

_I'm in serious shit_

_I feel totally lost_

_If I'm asking for help, it's only because_

_Being with you_

_Has opened my eyes_

_Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?_

The only place I wanted to find any form of true comfort was from Sasuke Uchiha.

_I keep asking myself_

_Wondering how_

_I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out_

And deep down, I knew that was the only place that actually held reassurance…

I didn't know why I didn't just call Gaara, but I couldn't bring my self to dial his number and tell him to get me. And I couldn't call the police…not on my own mother. My father wasn't in Tokyo at the moment and it would be a waste of my breath to attempt to explain what had happened at the house to him. I thought over the name my mother had yelled, cried in anguish.

Minato. I had heard that name murmured as a child. My mother's parents would mutter it in they're room…they said it once and my father had run into a rage…my mother had broken down…Gaara had asked questions that were never answered.

I vaguely remembered my mother taking me to a cemetery on the French border several times. She would whisper and sob that name. I couldn't have been older than three. She once told me I looked just like _him._ But I never knew who _he _was.

_Mother _

_Looking at me_

_Tell me_

_What do you see?_

_Yes I've lost my mind_

_Daddy_

_Looking at me_

_Will I ever be free?_

_Have I crossed the line?_

The screech of brakes seemed far off, an engine, crunching of snow under shoes…I wasn't comprehending it all. All I registered was that I wanted to just die rather than face the reality that had come smashing down on me…my mother hated my very existence. I wasn't my father's child. My brother was too sucked into his own world to notice everything in our house had fallen apart. And I was unwanted.

"Naruto."

_I can try to pretend _

_I can try to forget_

_But it's driving me mad_

_Going out of my head_

Arms wrapped around my quivering shoulders, pulling me off the ground. I didn't acknowledge them, didn't fight them. All I could do was leaned into the sudden warmth as everything spun around me. I felt like I couldn't walk. My head had split in two and my limbs were so numb with cold, they wouldn't function. The person holding me finally gave up trying to drag me, and swept my legs out from under me with a grunt of effort. I was being carried like a helpless child. Normally, this would have outraged me, but I was so cold…

My fingers clutched fabric desperately, weakly attempting to hold whoever this person was there. I didn't want that warmth to go away. Pressing my face into the shoulder of the person holding me, I shook even harder. A car door opened and instead of being put down, I was adjusted to where I was sitting in their lap, pressed protectively against their chest. I heard the door close, followed by a second door closing and the little light that had fought past my closed lids faded to where I was bathed in complete darkness. The last thing I heard before I lost consciousness against that warm hard body was the rev of an engine and someone softly saying my name over and over again.

---

A soft mattress underneath me, a pile of thick blankets on top of me, and a moist cloth on my forehead was what I woke up to. I could also feel bandages on my head; complete with one of the worst migraines I could ever remember having. Groaning softly, I attempted to sit up, but something across my chest was preventing me from doing so.

"Nn...nani?" was the first comprehendible thing out of my dry mouth. My tongue felt like sand paper and my voice sounded as if I had been screaming for hours on end. A pale arm was draped across my chest, belonging to a knocked out raven headed teenage boy that I could recognize anywhere.

"Sasuke?" Why the hell was he sitting in a chair next to my…? Wait. A quick look around the room proved it was a little too tidy and extravagant to be mine. I was completely perplexed until memories of last night came rushing back and smacked reality across my face full force.

This time, I wasn't shaking because of the cold. I'd called him at three in the morning and he'd jumped to answer my call. He'd unquestioningly come searching for me even though I refused to tell him what happened. Sasuke had found me a complete mess and brought me to his house without a second thought. He'd stayed by my side the entire time I was unconscious. And the rag in my hand indicated he'd even taken care of me when I got ill from being in the snow for too long.

I looked at him as I slipped his arm off of me. He simply adjusted it under his head and continued sleeping hunched over in a chair. Even in his sleep, the Uchiha looked exhausted. I sat up slowly, though my head was spinning. I suddenly got the sick feeling of being a burden.

"S…Sasuke." I shook his shoulder gently, feeling guilty for waking him up. He stirred, stretching out his arms and releasing a long, deep sound similar to a large dog. I would have laughed in another circumstance, but I honestly didn't have the heart to at the given time.

He looked at me blearily for a second before he bolted onto his feet and threw his arms around my shoulders, completely catching me off guard.

"Thank God!" he pulled me against him in a strangling hug, his face buried in my neck. "I thought we might have to take you to the hospital!"

"W…what? We? Hospital?" I was already thoroughly confused but his embrace had thrown me off more than anything possibly could at the moment.

Sasuke loosened his hold, grasping my arms as if afraid I might fall faint again. "I scared the hell outta me!" he accused, eyes staring right into mine, worry lacing in with anger and exhaustion across his features. "Why didn't you move somewhere warmer you idiot!!? You practically froze yourself to death! And you had a damn concussion! What did you do, get hit in the back of the head by a baseball bat?! And you've been out for two days with a fever!"

"Oh." That would explain all the blankets and the migraine from hell.

"Oh?! That's all you can say?! Naruto, what the hell happened?!"

"Sasuke, stop yelling at the boy." Sasuke let me go as we both turned to the door. A man that looked amazingly like an older Sasuke, complete with his hair that stuck up in back, walked into the room, clad in a pressed business suit.

"Sorry, Uncle…" Sasuke said sheepishly, sitting on the bed beside me.

"Regardless though, Sasuke's right. It would have been smarter for you to move from where you were. And I was actually coming to see if you were awake or not. My…endearing…nephew refused to allow me to take you to see a professional. Something along the lines of you being upset if I did…but I told him if you weren't up by now, there was no choice but to take you."

There was a, what I considered to be, awkward silence as the man fixed his tie. Sasuke cleared his throat, looking back at me. "Naruto, this is my Uncle, Madara Uchiha. He was the one who gave me ride. And this is his house." Ah, so he still refused to let me see his place, huh? Go figure.

"Th…thank you. For taking me in, Uchiha-San. I apologize for being a burden," I said, not looking at the man. He made me slightly uncomfortable, but I wasn't going to be impolite.

"No problem. But I will say this. Don't expect to stay much longer. I can't risk getting involved with the police for a false kidnapping charge. So, I suggest you call your parents." With that, he turned to leave. "Sasuke, I'll be back after I deal with business. You should have him ready to leave by then. Two days is enough time to throw any mother into a worried frenzy."

"Alright," Sasuke said softly. Madara walked out, closing the door behind him. As soon as the footsteps of the elder Uchiha faded completely, Sasuke glared at the door. "Jerk."

"What?! Why do you say that?"

Sasuke looked at me with a smirk. "My Uncle doesn't like kids. So he wants us out ASAP." His grin softened into a smile as he pushed my bangs aside to press his hand gently against my forehead. "I'm just glad you're okay. I really was worried about you…"

I felt my eyes burn with tears as I closed them. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?"

"Worrying you." I whispered.

"Well…you can make it up by telling me what happened before you called me. Tell me why you were crying." I opened my eyes to see him frowning, his brow furrowed. His hand slipped from my forehead to linger momentarily on my cheek before he set it on my clenched and trembling fist. "Tell me what happened to you, Naruto." I gazed at him silently internally screaming because I was scared. Scared to completely open up to another human being. Past experiences proved that opening up just opened old wounds and created new ones. And I didn't want to open up ever again, not to him, not for anyone. But I finally nodded, unclenching my fist to flip it and grasp his hand, staring almost in amazement at how well my slightly smaller hand fit into his pale one. And I softly told him everything.

_And I'm all mixed up_

_Feeling cornered and rushed_

_They say it's my fault_

I told him everything there was to tell. All my inner fears, my hates, past hurts. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Tears were soon streaming down my face, but I kept my voice steady. I didn't waver. I was pouring my heart out for him, and in the back of my mind I knew he could use every word coming out of my mouth against me. He could use it to tear me to shreds, an unrecognizable mess that I knew I would never be able to come back from. He could manipulate me to his whim and then throw me away when I no longer had use, broken, unfixable. But I kept going. I needed this release from reality and I was vainly hoping Sasuke Uchiha was that escape. I just wanted someone else to understand.

And among all that I told him, I confessed. I told him how I denied it. Told myself it was wrong, that I knew it was null and void. How I understood it couldn't, wouldn't return to me in the same way I gave it. That it was a waste. But I fostered it despite everything.

_But I want him so much_

_Wanna fly him away_

_Where the sun and the rain_

_Coming over my face_

_Wash away all the shame_

Without realizing it, I had let my heart be stolen by a raven haired youth with an understanding smile. And I knew I wasn't getting it back. I had fallen in love with Uchiha Sasuke.

_Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me_

_Nobody else_

_So we can be free_

The long uncomfortable silence that followed didn't help me at all. I was slightly reassured by the fact that he hadn't taken his hand out of mine the whole time, but it didn't quell the burning feeling of doubt in my stomach. I felt tender. Like my heart was more vulnerable than it had ever been. It was a literal physical feeling and it was unsettling. If he didn't respond soon, I was going to be ill. I just wanted him to say something, anything, to let me know he understood.

"Naruto…you should call your mom." I froze as he slipped his hand out of mine and stood up. I stared at my empty palm in shock. Nothing. There was nothing now. I had let this older boy read me like an open book, and he had just burned the pages without a flicker of emotion.

"..." I honestly had nothing to say. So, I grabbed my cell phone that was still in my pants pocket. If he wanted me gone, I wouldn't stay.

My phone indicated that there were fifteen missed calls from both my mother and elder brother. A single missed call from my father. Thirty-one…thirty-one missed calls from my family over two days. I refused to listen to any of the voice messages, instead dialing Gaara's number.

"_Hello?" My brother was breathing heavily, as if he had been working out._

_"Nii-San?"_

_"Holy shit, NARUTO!!? Where the hell are you!!? Mom said you beat the hell outta her than ran off!!" _he sounded more pissed off than worried, so that meant he bought mom's lies. Gaara was amazing and all, but he could be extremely naive…

"Gaara, don't yell, please," I moaned. "my head hurts something fierce…"

_"Serves you right!! Now, where are you?!"_

"I got picked up by a friend after mom gave me a concussion, since your so damn worried," I hissed. There was a long silence before he answered.

_"Mom hurt you?"_

"She came in my room screaming about some man named… Minato-" gasp from Gaara,"-and then she started strangling me and smashing my head against my bedroom window…you should check to see if the glass is broken if you don't believe me."

_"Naruto, did you go to the hospital?! Why didn't you at least answer your phone?! Or call me!?"_

"Because…no, I didn't go to the hospital. I've been knocked out for two days, according to Sasuke, and-"

_"Sasuke Uchiha? Your friend from school? Why the hell didn't he call us?! Naruto, I'm coming to get you and I'm taking you to a hospital! You're delirious."_

"Delirious? How the hell do you figure that?! I'm fine!"

_"Naruto, Mom wouldn't do that, you're confused! You must have been jumped, okay. Mom already showed us the window. You threw your alarm clock at her and when you missed it h-"_

"YOU BELIEVE HER BULLSHIT GAARA!!! THE WOMAN FUCKING TRIED TO KILL ME!! I NEARLY FROZE BECAUSE I WAS OUT IN THE SNOW TRYING TO MAKE SURE I WAS AWAY FROM HER!! SASUKE DID _HER_ A DAMN SERVICE BY NOT TAKING ME TO THE HOSPITAL AND CALLING THE POLICE!! SO YOU CAN TELL HER SHE FUCKED HERSELF BY CHEATING ON DAD AND GETTING PREGNANT WITH ME!!" In a burst of anger and my head throbbing viciously, I threw the phone across the room, tears cascading down my cheeks. My entire body throbbing violently, I fell onto the bed clutching my chest. It felt like I was being stabbed over and over again.

The last family I thought I had had turned on me for my mother. I literally had no one now. I was completely alone.

---

*sob* OMG, so much fucking ANGST!!! *wipes eyes, sniffling* Okay, I'm alright.

Well, I decided to type this out so it'll be uploaded by Monday. I know chapter four was a cliff hanger and I know how traumatizing waiting for the next chapter can be, so I decided to be nice to all my amazing readers and end the torture earlier than planned.

Angst is my favorite word by the way.

So, yes, R&R!!! I live off reviews! They are my will powwa! By the way, you can see some of my artwork by visiting .com/ . Click on the profile above the drawing and that ish all my work! LOVE YOU ALL!!


	6. Chapter 6

So, yes, R&R!!! I live off reviews! They are my will powwa! By the way, you can see some of my artwork by visiting and searching "Tomochan". Click on the profile above the drawing and that ish all my work! LOVE YOU ALL!!

Um…I'm brain dead guys. Last week was nothing but testing and I had to stare at my least favorite teacher for half of the school day, so I'm relatively pissed off and wanting to bomb someone. But I'll hold back the urge and just write/type you all another juicily depressing and big word filled chapter of yaoi based awesomeness. Oh, and Roquell, You're not allowed to beat Sasuke…that's my job. XD This selection is a personal favorite of mine and has been extremely therapeutic. _Show me love _by, again, tATu_. _I hope you enjoy it! By the way, thank you for all the reviews and favs! You guys totally make my day! And I apologize if anyone get confused by the writing style this chapter, it was supposed to make you actually READ IT! lol

-----

_This was an accident_

_Not the kind where sirens sound_

_Never even noticed we're suddenly crumbling_

_Tell me how you've never felt delicate or innocent_

_Do you still have doubts?_

_That us having faith makes any sense?_

My heart felt like it had been torn from my chest and stabbed repeatedly only to be handed back with a deceitful smile. My only rock in the world had been blinded and stumbled to become my betrayer. And the last person I thought I could open up to, hand my beaten and broken heart to, just looked upon me with pity and vanity. I was alone.

"No, I…I can't…do this…" I honestly had lost all hope. In the world, in people…in myself. I stood up shakily, still clutching my chest. I was dizzy and I felt nauseous, like I had taken pills on an empty stomach. My thoughts kept flipping from screams of hatred to cries of solitude. I couldn't keep old memories from flashing in front of me. My grandparents back in Germany always giving me things and telling me stories that would make me beg for more as a child. My mother holding me in her arms, only to leave and go do something that I couldn't comprehend at the time. My so-called father's dark, secluded looks. Gaara's beaming, arrogant smiles.

Silicene telling me her deepest, most heart felt feelings about life. Moving to a country I had never even bothered to think about, immediately becoming the outsider. The raging fights that lasted late into the night. The battles that never seemed to end. The hateful words. The attacks to my body and mind. Everything was twisted now, no more Silicene, no more warm comforting family, only loud, terrible voices, painted smiles, and hiding in dark corners. It was too much…I had _nothing._

Sasuke must have changed my clothes, something I registered momentarily at the foreign sweats that I had on. I also noticed a door opened to reveal a bathroom…which meant a medicine cabinet…which meant…

My heart raced at the thought. Suicide? It wasn't a new concept. I had thought on it for years, but I could never bear the thought of dying. Wasn't everyday a battle that I struggled to win? So why surrender in the heat of it? But that was before I lost a _reason_ to fight.

I shivered as I bit my lower lip. I didn't want to suffer…but I was suffering now…and I wasn't likely to be missed. Maybe regretfully thought upon, but not missed. I bit back another sob at that thought. It really was sad how low I had sunken in everyone else's eyes.

A small, almost insignificant voice in the back of my head said that Sasuke might miss me. I internally scoffed at the small part of me that still hoped. He had just completely rejected me. In a way I didn't think possible. He wanted me gone now just as much as my own mother did. I wasn't going to…

"Naruto, lay back down…" I jerked at the quiet explanation that came from the door way. Sasuke stood there, looking at me with a look of worry and grief. So now he wanted to regret it?! Now that I was finally coming to a fucking decision?

"D…don't s…don't tell me to…I won't…" I couldn't get a coherent sentence out of my mouth and it had me in tears. I just wanted it to stop for a fucking second!

"Naruto—"

"SHUT UP!!!!" I didn't want him saying my name. It just made me hope! And I didn't want second thoughts!! I wasn't steady enough to make a dash for the open door to the bathroom. He would over power me in a heartbeat. And I was still feverish; I knew that, so there was no chance of winning in a fight. I wanted to punch that look off his face but my feet wouldn't move, I couldn't lift my arm, even when he walked toward me slowly.

"Naruto, calm d—"

"STOP IT!!" I covered my ears, tore at my hair, screamed for him to go away. For him to go away or I would kill him. I would make it all stop. He reached out to grab me, a startled look of shock on his face. I screamed louder; shut my eyes so he would go away. I didn't want to see his face, see any ones face.

I felt a heavy weight grab me arms and drag me toward the bed. I struggled, sobbing, yelling for him to go away. I must have hit something, because I heard a grunt of pain and I swung again, my eyes still shut tight.

The world suddenly tipped backwards and I fell with a surprised gasp against the bed before my hands were pinned to my sides and something lay across my body, not letting me move.

"GET OFF!! GET OFF, LET ME GO!!!"

"Naruto, calm down, please calm down! Naruto!" Chanting in my ear, pleading. I kept screaming until my throat was so torn I couldn't. I sobbed for him to let me go, begged for him to kill me. But he didn't do either. I cried that I wanted him to leave, to let me die, I wanted it to stop, that pain. But he wouldn't let me.

"Please…please…please…" I fell asleep begging for death…

---

"Naruto, are you alright now?" I groaned loudly, immediately grasping my head as it throbbed. "You aren't going to flip again are you?" I looked at Sasuke's weak attempt at a smile in confusion. Flip?

"Wha'd ya mea—"The previous (had it even been night?) events came rushing back and I nearly gagged. What had that been?! It was like I had completely lost my mind in a moment of whim. Had I actually been about to commit suicide?!

_Tell me nothing ever counts_

_Lashing out and breaking down_

_Still somebody loses_

_Cuz' there's no way to turn around_

Sasuke took the hand still resting on my forehead in his and he squeezed gently, looking as if he might break into tears of his own. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he said softly. I couldn't keep looking at him, my own guilt tearing at my insides.

"Shut up…" I said, gently pulling my hand away from his. "I don't want pity…"

"Pity? Naruto, I'm a fucking asshole, and you know it." I turned back to look at him, self loathing on his every feature. "I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I heard you yelling at him… I heard you screaming…you kept saying you were going to kill yourself last night. I thought at first it was because of me." His face fell into his hands, and I saw a shiver run through his body. He thought I was going to end my life because he ended up being all I had and I misinterpreted his confusion for abandonment.

_Tell me how you've never felt_

_Delicate or innocent_

_Staring at your photograph_

_Everything now in the past_

_Never felt so lonely_

_I wish that you could show me love_

I sat up against the pillows, pulling his hands away from his face, half expecting to see tears, but there were none. He just had that same look on his face from when I first met him. Like he was lost.

"Please," I whispered. "Don't." He watched me evenly for a few seconds, his hands still in mine. His eyes fell to the mattress, his grasp suddenly tighter. He rose slowly, still not catching my gaze.

"I'll get you something to eat. Is there anything you want in particular?" Sasuke asked softly, not detaching his hands from mine.

"Some aspirin…" I said, unable to hold back a soft smile. He chuckled, giving my hands a gentle squeeze before letting them go. I watched him walk out of the room only to collapse with a heavy sigh against the pillows again. God, I felt like shit…but I let myself smile despite feeling like I'd taken the worst beating of my life

---

_Show me love_

'_til you open the door_

_Show me love_

'_til I'm up off the floor _

_show me love _

'_til it's inside my pores_

_Show me love_

'_til I'm screaming for more_

"What the hell? Sasuke, I thought I told you he had to go home!" To say Madara was a little angry would be considered an understatement. The yelling would have been a bitch if the aspirin I had taken hadn't already kicked in.

"Wait, I can explain," I cut in before Sasuke could lash out with his heated retort.

"What?" Oh shit, he was glaring daggers.

"You see, they know where I am and they…uh…really could…um…care less…and I know their not gonna call…the…" Damn, this man creeped me the fuck out….

"That's not my damn point kid. I have guests coming and I don't need the fact that I have two teenage boys in my guest room nagging the back of my mind the entire time!" Talk about hospitality, geez…

"Look, Uncle, we'll be out as soon as Naruto finds a place to stay," Sasuke said angrily. Apparently, he didn't appreciate the fact that his only other family was throwing a hissy fit over letting us stay another night.

"Take him to your house!"

"You know I can't do that!"

"My brother's gone, so it's only your mother there, it won't be a big deal!"

"I don't want weird questions!"

"You're gonna be asked questions no matter what you do!"

Wow, I was actually beginning to see the resemblance between the two… same heated temper. "Sasuke, I'll just stay at a motel," I interjected before he could yell something back.

"The hell you are! You're still sick!"

"Then stay at the motel with him!"

"With what money?!"

"You're parents are rich, you can pay for a lousy hotel room!"

"What the hell?! You know I don't get money from them!"

Uh-oh…"Maybe I'll just go home," I said under my breath. Both Uchiha's stopped there shouting contest and looked at me. Oh, wow, they heard me.

"You can't go home!! Not to that homicidal mother of yours! I refuse to let you go!" As much as I enjoyed Sasuke being over protective and all, I didn't like being told what to do.

"Sasuke, what other choice do I have?" I asked, raising my own voice.

"Fine!!" Sasuke growled, glaring at his longer haired Uncle. "I'll take him to my place…" he said, sounding defeated. Madara smirked, as if he pushed his nephew to that decision.

"Good. I'll drive you over there." Was it just me, or was he trying to get rid of us as fast as possible?

Ten minutes later, we were in the back of the Uchiha's Volvo, speeding at what I considered to be a dangerous velocity. I had argued with Sasuke to let me put back on my own clothes instead of what I had woken up in, despite them being thinner. He was acting as if I would catch hypothermia at the drop of a hat!

"Look, when we get there, just stay up in my room, okay Naruto," Sasuke whispered in my ear, taking my hand in his again. I noticed that he was doing that a lot lately. He looked worried about something, but knowing him, he'd tell me when we were alone. I just nodded, squeezing his fingers in reassurance before turning back to watch the scenery fly past.

Sasuke had told me his house was large, but this was ridiculous! There was no way only three people lived here! An iron gate and brick foundation, only one light shone on the upper floor. Driving through the gate and into the drive, Sasuke sighed heavily and looked at me with a sarcastic smirk.

"Home sweet home…" Madara turned in his seat, with a look that clearly told us to get out of his car.

"Um...th…thank you, Uchiha-San," I murmured as I opened the door.

"Don't mention it kid." Alright, alright, I'm leaving.

"We should get inside," Sasuke said, leading me to the door. With his hand on the handle, he turned to me once more. "Are you sure you want to? We can still—" I cut him off by putting my hand over his mouth.

"Just shut up and open the door," I laughed. He was so indecisive. And I thought it was…well, almost cute. If that's even a legal way to describe Sasuke.

Snorting in mock frustration, Sasuke opened the door to a dark thresh hold. Motioning my silently forward, Sasuke walked in, miming for me to take off and carry my shoes. I followed his instructions, following him into a hallway in which he quickly led me to a door and hurried me , closing the door and locking it. Releasing a sigh, Sasuke flipped the switch to unveil his bedroom.

"Nice," I observed with admiration. His wooden walls were bare other than a few posters of what I guessed to be American bands. The floor was carpeted, and a dark burgundy color. A desk that was home for his computer and several pictures was as neat and clean as the rest of his room. The queen sized bed was covered in a red spread with several overstuffed pillows. All in all, something I expected from the young Uchiha.

"'s not much, but it's mine," he said as he sat in front of the computer, booting it up. I walked over to look at the framed photograph of a younger Sasuke and a boy with similar eyes as his with a pony tail sitting on some high up rocks.

"Itachi?" I asked, pointing to the other boy in the picture. Sasuke nodded, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, back in Cali a few years ago." He said as he clicked an icon on his desktop. Yawning widely, I strolled across the room to sit on his bed.

"You're mom's gonna realize I'm here eventually," I stated, taking a pillow and putting it under my chin, laying on my stomach to watch him.

"Nah, not if I tell her I'm feeling sick. She won't come near the room. That, and I'm almost always locked up in here, so she doesn't notice I'm alive half the time…but then again, she does randomly pop up from time to time…" he said the last part as if it were an after thought.

"Is that why you didn't want me to come?" I asked, closing my eyes just to hear him typing.

"No."

"No? That doesn't tell me anything," I mumbled, furrowing my brow.

"No, that's not the reason." Smart ass.

"Teme…then why?"

"…"

Sasuke was silent. Actually, everything was quiet. He'd stopped typing, the computers hum had also quieted and it was slightly unsettling.

"Sasuke?" I got up off the bed and walked back over to him. He was leaning back in the chair, his eyes closed. Hesitantly wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I rested my chin on his shoulder. I again tried to deny the fact that I was blushing at the slight affection I was attempting to give.

"My parents aren't really social…they don't really like people, you know?"

"Uh..no?" His response was a little confusing. So what, they didn't meet new people or something?

"Okay, let me rephrase that…they don't like other ethnic groups is a little more specific, I guess." He let his head to drop back on my shoulder so he was staring at the ceiling.

"So…they're racist, is that it?" Now that made sense. They were anti-German.

"Well…yeah, I guess so. They never liked America and being in Europe was even worse for them. They don't like how…what's the word? Greedy…other people can be." He snorted in disgust when he found the right word.

"Okay, so you were worried that they wouldn't agree with you being friends with a German," I said.

"That…and us," he said softly, reaching back to knot his hands behind my neck. So, he really did….

"I'm sorry if I hurt you last night," he whispered against my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine. He placed a yielding kiss against my cheek before he turned back to the computer, his warm arms releasing their hold of my neck.

_Random acts of mindlessness_

_Common place occurrences_

_Chances are surprising_

_Another state of consciousness_

_You play games_

_I play tricks_

_But you're the one_

_Like a game of pick up sticks_

_Played by fucking lunatics_

Caught off guard, I stood there knowing I was completely red in the face. I momentarily buried my face in his neck before also letting go. I went back to the bed, hiding my flushed face in a pillow, smiling like a moron.

God, I felt like a damn school girl who had just gotten her first kiss from her crush! But as ridiculously embarrassed as I was, I was happier than I could ever remember being.

I didn't lay there on my own for long before Sasuke shut off his computer, flipped the switch and laid down next to me.

---

Meh…I was too lazy to write anymore for this chapter. Chapter six _should_ have my first ever sex scene, so…but if I finish my DMC one shot, then that's a sex scene…either way, maybe next chapter, I'm not sure….sleepy….

R&R please.


	7. Chapter 7

OMIGAWD!!!! **DX** I'M SORRRY YOU GUYS!!!!! I know, It's been an ENTIRE week, but I've had a cold and SAT's and all that crape, oh, and a trip to an art exhibit. So, it's Saturday afternoon and I'm JUST starting this chapter!! **DX **I'm sorry if the suspense (could the last chapter even be considered suspenseful?) Okay, this chapter's song is ANOTHER tATu selection, titled _Sacrifice_. I'll try to make it to where you never wait this long EVER again!! **D:** (No promises though….) **:P**

_Can you tell me, softly?_

_How you'll always haunt me_

_Can you help me?_

_Hold me_

_Come to me now, slowly_

"How can she not know I'm here?! Seriously, as much noise as I make, you'd think she'd notice!" I popped a chocolate candy into my mouth, moving my hair out of my face before I finished shading in the black in my drawing.

"I told you, the woman's deaf. But we're going to have to get out tomorrow, at least for the day," Sasuke said, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my hip, groaning.

"Tomorrow? What's going on tomorrow…oh, yeah," I laughed quietly at my stupidity. Tomorrow was Christmas… I'd been here in Sasuke's bedroom suite for nearly three days now. I'd left a message on my home's phone everyday, telling them I was with friends and that I would be back by the end of the week. No one ever returned the calls or answered the phone, so I had a feeling that no one in my family was worried.

"So…uh…wh...what do you want to do for…Christmas? I mean, it's not like we have money or anything so…do we just window shop or something? Sasuke…?"

"Hm?" Sasuke looked up from trying to stealthily remove the shirt I had borrowed from him and smiled vaguely. "Yeah, sure, whatever you want." I coughed lightly, covering my mouth. My sad attempt to cover an impending blush. "Or we could go to the movies if you want something that won't freeze you again." His expression suddenly went very serious as he sat back up, pulling me against his chest. "I'm not sure I want you out in the cold again though…at all…not after that stupid stunt you pulled…" Sasuke's voice was hushed against my…um…_his_ shirt…as he buried his face in my shoulder.

I was shocked how physical Sasuke had gotten in the three days I shared a room with him. He always had some part of his body touching mine unless he had to leave the room to get us food or when we took separate showers. (And he even brusquely said we should do that together!) it wasn't that I was complaining, I was just that it was unnaturally….clingy. and I wasn't used to much contact at all unless it was something that ended up leaving a damn bruise. But even I had to admit the tender touches and hushed voice was…soothing.

"Well, you were the one who said we had to get out!" I retorted briskly, pulling away so I could see his face properly. "You need to make up your mind what you want first, then say things to me," I scolded. "I get confused easily," I added diffidently.

Sasuke looked at me in astonishment, then broke into a loose smile before chuckling.

"Alright, I'm sorry," Sasuke said, falling back against the bed pulling me with him so that I was resting on my elbows above him. "But maybe I'll tell my mother I'm sick and that I'm just going to spend Christmas in here. Then she won't bother us and _we_ can waste our day snuggled up in bed." Okay, that sounded like a good idea too…

"But I've been in here for _days_," I whined immaturely, collapsing against his chest, my chin on his collar bone.

"Come on Naruto, don't give me that puppy dog face. I'm not falling for it, and you're not going anywhere tomorrow." Just to humor him, I made whimpering noises, making my eyes as big, watery, and innocent as possible. He laughed as he covered his face.

"NO!! EVIL PUPPY EYES!!" He tried to push me off of him as I grabbed his hand, making the whimpering noises louder, attempting to hold back laughs of my own. "I said no Naruto!!" he chortled, flipping me over so I was underneath him. We both calmed our amusement down to subtle gasps.

"Why not?" I asked breathlessly. His smile faltered a little before he answered.

"I'm just worried is all…" he whispered. I redden as I turned my face away from his in embarrassment and contempt. He was still treating me as if I was made of glass or something….

"Hey…" Sasuke took my chin in his hand and turned me to where I was looking straight into those onyx eyes. "That, and I don't want to accidentally run into anyone…"

"Like who?"

"Your family, or people that know your family….I'm not letting them take you back to that hell hole," he growled, like the mere thought of my parents sent him into a rage. With him holding me there, I was unable to look away from those black pearls that kept flashing.

_You caress me, smoothly_

_Calm my fears and sooth me_

_Move your hands across me_

_Take my worries from me_

This may sound cliché, but it was as if time momentarily froze. All that I heard was our breathing and my own deafening heartbeat. Like all the blood was rushing to my head…whoa, wait, scratch that!

"S…Sasuke, I—" what had been about to be a plea for him to get off of me so I could got to the bathroom was cut off by a pair of lips pressing against mine.

To say I was shocked would be sarcastic. I suddenly felt terrified, like some forgotten memory had surfaced and was attacking me with a vengeance. I didn't know why, but I wanted nothing more than to run. Run or fight.

"Oof!" Sasuke fell sideways with a grunt of pain and I covered my slightly tingling mouth with a hand as I glared at him. I'll admit I hadn't meant to punch him that hard, but since my strength was just coming back, I guess I didn't pay attention to how much power I put behind my hit. He was clutching his stomach, grimacing, and I felt a sudden wave of guilt. Not because I'd just punched the guy I had confessed to that I was gay and in love with not even four days ago, but because I had actually stopped the kiss. It hadn't been harsh or rushed even, just…sweet and there had been a hesitation.

"I…I'M SORRY!!!" I literally squealed, leaning over him, flustered. "I have no idea what the hell just happened!! I…I didn't mean to do that!! I'm sorry!!"

"N..no, that was wrong on my part," he gasped, sitting up. "Damn, you can hit," he said with an awkward chuckle. Tears welled up in my eyes as I tackled him.

"I'm okay, Naruto!" he said in reassurance as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, trying to comfort _me_ when I had just punched the shit out of him for no reason.

"NO!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you!!" I was freaking out over nothing, I knew, but I couldn't help it. I felt like my mother all of a sudden, and I hated myself for it.

"Naruto…"he turned us to where we were on our sides, his arms completely wrapped around me. "I shouldn't have done that. Not after all that you've been through. I should have asked you first..or at least warned you. I had no right to do that, so you had every right to beat the hell out of me and I wouldn't have been able to say a thing about it."

"Bu—"

"Shush. You can't take the blame for everything, so accept that I was in the wrong for once." Sasuke smiled warmly, nothing deceiving in that smile…just a reassurance. I nodded, taking comfort in the warmth radiating off of him in waves. I buried my face against his hard chest, allowing a small smile of contentment to break free.

We lay there, our legs tangled, arms wrapped completely around each other, for the longest time. I think I may have even dozed, it was just us and there was nothing else. And that was something I think I could get used to…

_Can you feel me, solely?_

_Deeper still and, wholly_

_With your understanding_

_And your arms around me_

But I felt horrible…for hitting him when he had never done anything to deserve it, for invading on his life, and for stopping what I knew we both wanted…

_I will sacrifice_

_I will sacrifice _

_All I have in life_

_To clear my_

_Conscious_

"Sasuke?" I whispered, nervous ad not wanting to shatter the comfortable silence.

"Hm?"

_I will sacrifice_

_All I have in life_

_Sacrifice_

_Sacrifice_

"Will you kiss me?" Does anyone else realize the sick, almost girly irony in what I had just asked him? Because I wanted to shoot myself for it!!

"Are you sure?" he asked softly, propping up on his elbow. Caution was freakin' stamped on his forehead, the way he was looking at me. If I wasn't sure, would I even set aside what tiny bit of masculine pride I had left and ask?! Seriously!!

"Yeah…" Okay, so I hadn't cussed him out, that was a good sign…another thought that had me blushing….did this make me _his_ uke? Masculine pride….it was out the damn window now…

Sasuke looked slightly put off, why, I have no idea. Slowly moving to where he was slightly above me, his eyes kept sweeping from the mattress beside me and my face, biting his lower lip slightly, as if he were trying to find an excuse not to. Was I that damn fragile to him?!

"Damn it Sasuke," I growled, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him down, smashing our lips together in a move not entirely my own. I felt him gasp against me, but he soon forgot about being cautious and was kissing me back just as ferverently.

No matter how careful he wanted to be, we were teenage boys with hormones raging. Put us in a room long enough, something's bound to happen. Whether we try to kill each other or freakin' rape each other, too much testosterone in one room, and things explode.

"S…Sasuke," I moaned softly, my hands sliding from his shoulder's to his chest as I clutched at the fabric of his shirt, gasping for air as his kisses trailed from my lips to my throat. I took a sharp intake of breath as he nipped my collarbone, licking the vein under my ear, causing me to shiver with pleasure.

"Are you sure you want this?" Sasuke whispered in my ear as his hands went under my shirt, his hands cool against my heated skin.

"Yes…God, yes." I was getting harder but the second, and him panting right in my ear wasn't helping.

"Then, make me one promise," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah?"

"Don't scream too loud or my mom will know you're here."

_Can you help me?_

_Hold me_

_Whisper to me, softly_

_Move your hands across me_

_Take my worries from me_

Okay, I'm sorry it's so short, but I wanted to get it to you guys. R&R's are LOVE!! **XD**


	8. Chapter 8

Alright guys, lets see how fast I can type it. Got an hour and that's it, and I wanna finish it tonight… _Sanctuary_ by Hikaru Utada is this featured selection, from Kingdom Hearts II if you're wondering. **XD WARNING!!!!! **This chapter contains HARD CORE YAOI BITCHES SO NO HATING!!! **D: **For the rest of you **ENJOY!!!!** **X3 **

_And you and I _

_There's a new land_

_Angels in flight_

_My sanctuary_

_My sanctuary now_

_Where fears and lies melt away_

_Music in time_

_What's left of me now_

"Wha…wha?!" I was in shock Sasuke could be so…blunt! "Wh…why do you say that?!" I whispered hoarsely, trying not to look too shocked, though my most likely flushed face and wide eyes gave me away.

"Because, I'm going to make sure you don't forget this.©" Eep!

"Sasuke, don't say things like—ha!" I bit down on my lower lip as he roughly bit my collar bone, not letting me finish my sentence. Dammit, the asshole was sadistic in bed!! Low pain tolerance ringing a bell anyone?!

"S…Sasuke!" I grabbed his hair in a desperate attempt to get him to stop biting and sucking my neck simultaneously. As good as it felt, it hurt like a bitch and even _**I **_knew that left bruises!! "Sasuke, sto—p…"

"Hn…" he just smirked seductively and began leaving a flaming trail of nips back up to my lips. His tongue running across my lower lip in a way that would have made my knees go out were I standing, his cool hands began massaging my stomach lightly, causing a much unwanted giggle to escape.

"Hm? What's so funny, Naruto?" he asked with a light chuckle of his own.

"I..it tickles!" I said somewhat breathlessly. Furrowing his brow momentarily, he pushed my shirt up and over my head, humming in what I guessed was approval.

"Well, it won't tickle in a minute," he whispered as he lightly nibbled my lower lip. I didn't know why that simple action made my entire body raise a few degrees in temperature, but I loved how it felt. I moaned softly in appreciation arching into his hands as his hands continued to slide slowly up and down my torso. His tongue ran across my lip and I opened my mouth, gasping as his tongue ran over my teeth then my own tongue. I wanted to make him to feel the electricity that I was experiencing. It wasn't that I was inexperienced. What seventeen year old male can say he's a virgin? Gay, straight, or otherwise, I mean, by fourteen, you already wonder, by sixteen, you know. It was just….he made me feel stupid, like it was my first time again. But then again, I've never been topped before…

"Mmn…" I gripped his hair tighter as he began softly sucking on my tongue, making shivers of pleasure course through me…

"Sasuke…hah…" I let go of his hair to grab his shirt. We broke away to breath and with his help, we tossed his shirt to the floor. As soon as it was off, our mouths were reunited, our bare chests together as the hunger to feel skin against skin overpowered both of us.

I took in a breath of surprise as his hand went to my groin, squeezing lightly, making me have to choke back a moan of pleasure. "Oh God!" I whispered.

"Naruto…you aren't a virgin, are you?" Sasuke sounded slightly worried, as if he was nervous.

"No," I gasped, eying him. "Are you?" I asked coyly.

"Hn, ask questions later, baka," he smirked, undoing the button of my jeans as he starting kissing my neck again. I bit my knuckle to stifle a moan as his tongue began languidly running across one of my nipples, causing me to arch into his warmth.

"Naruto…" I heard my name as a whisper, almost a breath.

_I did this for you_

_My hearts a battle ground_

_You show me how to see_

_That nothing is whole and_

_Nothing is broken_

Sasuke began slowly removing the jeans I was wearing and the borrowed pair of boxers as well. I felt myself blushing ferverently to be exposed to the young Uchiha like this. I had never felt so embarrassed about sex before, I mean, not like this. And the hungry way Sasuke was looking me up and down was not _helping_.

"S...Sasuke, wha…what are you…" I looked away in embarrassment, readjusting myself so that I was reclining on my elbows.

"Am I going too fast for you?" he asked softly, brushing his fingers against my left check. I spun back to look at him, feeling my cheeks heating up again.

"N…no, I'm just…." Sighing in exasperation, I fell back against the bed. "I've just never been on bottom, alright," I said softly, internally beating the shit out of myself for admitting it. Sasuke was silent, and then he suddenly started laughing to himself. "What, you think it's funny?!"

"No, you idiot," he said, smiling as he brought his lips just short of mine. "I just thought I was doing something to upset you and it's nothing but that. I'm relieved." Still chuckling, Sasuke brought our lips together, chastely moving his lips against mine.

Opening my mouth, I melded my tongue with his as he moved back on top of me, his jeans causing friction against my dick, making me moan in need. We were breathing in gasps, myself more so as he began grinding his encased member against my own, making sharp bolts of pleasure shoot up my spine and across my entire body. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss and causing him to crush our hips against each other in wanton need.

Bucking up against him, I pulled my mouth from his with a gasp, mewling what I was praying was a soft moan. I had to admit, even though I was mortified and nervous about this, I wanted him to keep going.

"S…Sasuke…take off…your pants too!" I panted as he started lapping my throat again. Sasuke grunted in acknowledgment and I released his neck so he could remove the restricting piece of clothing. To my dismay, he got off the bed and walked over to the door, leering darkly.

"H…hey, what g…gives?!" I asked in irritation. He looked at he door, which I was _hoping_ was locked, and then at the light switch. He reached for the switch and the last thing I saw before it went black was his lustful gaze that was directed right at my erection. Perfect.

"S…Sasuke?" I asked, probably louder than was necessary.

"Shh. I'm right here, Naruto," I heard him say from right beside me. The mattress sank as he crawled back onto it, his breathing just as erratic as mine. "If mom thinks I'm asleep, here's no way she's coming in." With that, I felt his lips searching for mine so I turned my head to where we were connected for the….God, how many times had we made out that night?

His hands ran over my quickly heating skin, trailing lower and lower, leaving tingling nerves in his wake until he reached my blood swollen member. He released my tongue to leave a line of love bites from my chin down my chest as his hand teasingly ran over my extremely sensitized flesh, causing me to groan in frustration and want. Something wet and warm suddenly enveloped my cock and I had to cover my mouth to stench my cry. Sasuke's mouth left me no time to comprehend what was going on before he started sucking and pumping at the same time. God, I had gotten a damn blowjob before, but I couldn't stop the stream of curses and mangled whimpers from passing my lips.

"Sasuke…o…ohmygawd, S…Sasuke!!" My hand found a shaky purchase on silky hair, pushing his mouth closer to my crotch. "Fu….ck….hah!" Sasuke's tongue started doing things I didn't think physically possible, circling and massaging, just as his hand left the base of my cock and began lightly running from down my base and fondling my balls, which were growing tighter and causing the clenching feeling in my stomach to become more and more known. "H…HAH!! AH!! S…Sasuke!!" I kept saying his name, like a mantra that I couldn't help but sing over and over. His teeth nipped my head and I nearly screamed. That hurt like a mother fucker, but it felt so damn good!

My grip on his hair just grew firmer as I started nearing completion, him mouth bringing nearer me to orgasmic bliss with ever suck and snake of that forbidden tongue. He started stroking me again, faster than before.

"Sasuke!! HAH!! I'm…I'm gonna…..!!! S…SasukeSasuke—" His name came out higher and higher in pitch until I finally convulsed, cumming in that hot mouth with a silent scream of euphoria. He sucked me a few more times before releasing my quickly softening cock with a gasp. I heard him unzipping his jeans and in a matter of seconds, he was hungrily ravaging my mouth again.

I moaned at the notion that I was tasting myself on his tongue as sucked it, earning a very soft moan on his part. Sasuke started grinding our pelvises together, making me hard all over again. Breathing harshly through our noses, we wrapped our arms around each other, heaving chests becoming moist with sweat in minutes. We finally broke apart to breath and he put fingers softly against my lips.

I easily complied, opening my mouth and sucking softly on then, licking lustfully until they were liberally covered in my own saliva. Retracting the digits from my mouth, Sasuke began slowly probing between my legs, and I opened my legs a little wider for him, grabbing his raven locks and pulling him in for another heated kiss. I felt a finger slip inside me and I winced at the sensation. Okay, I didn't know that would actually _hurt_!

Sasuke began slowly moving his finger in and out, kissing my neck in a way I was guessing was meant to distract me. Even though at first it almost seemed to burn, causing me to flinch slightly, it eventually began to feel….natural. I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck, shaking slightly.

"Y…you can…add another," I whispered awkwardly. Sasuke kissed the corner of my lips chastely before slowly inserting another finger. If I had thought the first hurt, the second was…worse. Mewling softly, I buried my face in his warm shoulder, but I soon adjusted and he added a third. Moving in and out of my entrance slowly, he began scissoring his fingers, all th while flitting butterfly kisses all over my face and neck, making soft soothing noises.

"S…Sasuke, I think I'm…re…ready," I whispered.

"Alright," he whispered in my ear, coming back up to plant a lingering kiss on my forehead. Sasuke's fingers left me, and he suddenly froze all movement, my now adjusted eyes seeing worry on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, placing my hand against his cheek.

"Naruto, I have no lube." Oh…yeah, that was a cause for worry, on _my_ part!

"Wh..what?" No way! No way we got this damn far for nothing!! I wracked my mind for an idea, and I grimaced at the first one to pop in my head. "L…lotion."

"What?"

"You can….use lotion," I said bashfully. It could be used as a moisturizer, right?

"Naruto, I'm not so sure that a good idea."

"What, you have a better idea?!" he remained silent for a few minutes, then he finally moved to my side, sighing.

"Yeah, I have one…."

"Great, what?!" I asked breathlessly. My erection was beginning to get overly painful.

"You could…I mean, _I_ could….if I was to….shit…." Okay, so I wasn't the only one thoroughly embarrassed by this situation. But this wasn't helping anything.

"Sasuke?"

"Naruto, you could….give me a blowjob…" Crash and burn, my friends.

"S…Sasuke…." I was somewhat glad the lights were off, because my face had to be the brightest shade of red it had _ever_ been. "….I'm not sure….I'm not ready for that!" I had been with a guy before, just once, but I had been given the blowjob _and_ been seme!! I had no clue how to give one and frankly my masculine pride couldn't take it!!

"Look, or we could…if there was…pre-cum, you know…then we could….." Yeah, I liked that better. Sasuke was probably just as red faced as I was right now, and as arousing as that was to imagine, I still couldn't bring myself to do what he had implied.

"L…look, w…we can just—" Sasuke suddenly smashed his mouth against mine, pushing me back into he pillows of his bed, more fervent than ever before. He began to rock against me again, causing me to cry out with pleasure, his hard member feeling considerably larger than my own all of a sudden. "MMN!!! Hnnnn!!!" I wrapped my legs around his waist, our teeth grinding and tongues sliding from one mouth to the other. Gripping he sheets, I rocked back in synch with him. A sudden whim had me blushing again…Sasuke kept making me cry out and all I had managed was a moan from him!

Shakily reaching between us, I felt him freeze and I wrapped my fingers around his erection, stroking it hesitantly. He pulled his mouth from mine to stare down at me, his harsh breathing matching my own as I caressed him, our eyes locked. I watched as Sasuke's features furrowed in pleasure and it made my blood sing in my ears to think I was the one that was making him feel this good. Adjusting my strokes, Sasuke's eyes snapped shut as he gasped. I teasingly ran my thumb across the head, leaking pre cum and I flushed as a small moan escaped his lips.

"N…Naruto…stop…" I jumped at his voice, looking back at his face. I'd unknowingly become captivated at my hands motions and his hoarse whisper had caught me off guard. I released his cock and fell back, his lips immediately finding mine. I was shocked by my own boldness. I had just given my first hand job, and apparently done a lot better than I thought I could. Sasuke's hands grabbed the back of my knees and opened my legs gently.

"Are you ready?" he asked softly. I nodded slowly, feeling my body beginning to shake. In fear or anticipation, I'm not sure. He kissed my forehead again as he began slowly entering me, causing me to whimper in pain. Oh yeah, things that damn big were NOT supposed to be put in ANYONE!!! I shut my eyes tightly, feeling tears fighting to break through.

"Oh God!! Ow ow ow!!! Shit!!" I sobbed. I grabbed his sheets again, trying to keep my composure.

"A…are you alright?" he asked, gasping quickly, almost as if he himself were in pain.

"N…no!! S…Sasuke, please, I'm not s…so sure about….t…this anymore!!! Holy shit, please!!! It….h….hah!!!" I was hurting so badly, I wanted nothing more than for him to get the hell out of me.

"I….it's….supposed to hurt at first. It'll…get better, I promise."

"No….no….Sasuke, please!!!"

"Naruto….I'm almost…all the way in…I'm sorry, it will feel good soon, I promise, just relax." Easy for him to say!! He didn't have a huge as hell dick being shoved up his ass!!

I shakily grabbed his shoulders, my nails digging in as I tried not to sob any louder. Let this mother fucker feel some pain too!! He hissed slightly, jerking slightly. He kept pushing in though, and I finally felt his balls touch my ass and he stopped moving completely, shakily breathing as he laid his head against my shoulder.

"Naruto….God, Naruto…." His teeth lightly grazed my shoulder as he lay against me, still holding my legs up. He began lightly sucking and nipping the skin of my shoulder simultaneously, and I moaned softly at he distracting menstruations. I was slowly numbing, the pain returning to a dull throb to be replaced with a feeling of fullness.

"Sasuke…yo..you can move now," I whispered shakily, internally preparing myself for a world of hurt. He released my shoulder and began kissing up my throat as he slowly pulled out, causing me to whine in pain again, but not anything nearly as bad as the beginning. Sasuke nipped my bottom lip lightly before quickly thrusting back in, causing me to buck, crying out. He set a pace, pulling out slowly, and thrusting back in. I soon moaned every time he pushed back in, a mixture of pain and a pleasure that I couldn't explain lightly. He adjusted his weight, causing him to thrust upwards, a movement that had me choking on a sudden immense pleasure that I hadn't been expecting at all.

"Oh my fuckin' Gawd, there!! Sasuke!! Th…THERE!!! HAH!!" my arms captured Sasuke's neck and I pulled him into a ferverant kiss as unbelievable pleasure. His grip on my leg slipped and his hands were buried in my own hair, our kiss soon nothing but tongue as I wrapped my legs around his waist causing him to pound into that spot over and over again, his rhythm becoming quick and sporadic as we both neared our first orgasms as a couple.

"Sasuke!! HAH!!! I….God!! I love you!!" I soon came, screaming his name into our kiss, cum splattering both our stomachs. He soon moaned my name softly, slamming into me harder and faster before he shuddered, cumming in me, the sudden warmth causing me to mewl softly as all my energy seemed to leave me in one felled swoop.

"Naruto…." I opened my eyes just enough to see Sasuke above me, feeling his fingers smoothing my hair from my face.

"Hm?"

"Don't let it go to your head, but I love you too."

I smiled softly, feeling his lips against my cheek again. His warmth suddenly left and but it was back a few minutes later in the form of a warm washcloth and his hands gently cleaning me. I subconsciously relished in the contact as he ran his hands over my stomach and thighs. I was lifted up as a blanket was placed underneath me, probably to cover any mess left behind, I thought with a laugh that never made it past my throat. He put a clean pair of boxers on me and laid next to me. I mustered enough strength to turn on my side and lay my head on his chest as he pulled a cover over the two of us.

"My teme…." I murmured sleepily, hugging him to me with what little energy I had.

"Only yours, baka…"

_I watch you_

_Fast asleep_

_All I fear means nothing_

_And you and I_

_There's a new land_

_Angels in flight_

_What's left of me now_

_Where fears and lies melt away_

_Music in time_

_What's left of me now_

_My fears_

_My lies_

_Melt away_

YAYS!!!! Super long smut for all my amazing fans!!! **X3** I love you all so much that I felt bad for making you all wait so long for the other chapter, so I said, "you know what, I'll make this chapter SUPER AWESOME!!!" That and Ben keeps harassing me to finish it. **XD **Anyway, I loveses ya'll, and Reviews make me happy!!!


	9. Chapter 9

As promised, here is a chapter for my lovely, amazing readers that I just don't deserve. And, no, no one walks in on them love making. I've have that happen before, tis not a fun experience. Anyway, enough rambling. Please enjoy chapter 9 of _Life's Light_!

And I'm sorry, but I've decided to no longer add lyrics to my story. But if you like, I do have several songs I'd be happy to suggest.

Happy reading!

Waking up the next morning was like waking after a trying to sleep with a boulder on my back. My lower back was stiff and uncomfortable, making me groan just to move. But it wasn't nearly as bad as I had expected. I almost didn't want to move, burrowed under blankets and cuddled against Sasuke's chest, I was scared if I moved, it would be like shattering a perfect dream.

Sasuke's chest rose and fell in a calming way that made me smile, his face relaxed and peaceful. This was one of those weird moments that I wanted to call him 'cute', but the idea still didn't fit. Breathe taking maybe?

There I go again, sounding like a love struck girl…

But, even as the thought struck me, it was true. I really was love struck. I had become enthralled by this person, this raven haired, ebony eyed guy that I thought didn't have the capacity to show enough emotion to start a relationship to begin with.

But it would seem we had opened up to one another. And I couldn't understand why he would want a tousled haired, problematic blonde like me. Most people would have run, knowing what I would go through at the place I was supposed to call home. But he had stayed, embraced me despite all that.

I didn't know much about love, but I thought this was a very good interpretation of what it could be. This wasn't the love I saw between my mother and the man I thought was my father. If anything, this feeling was…pure.

I was scared though, as this particular thought struck me. What if it didn't stay pure, what if this, this affection between us became tainted? What if I was more in love with the thought of love then with him?

The thought made me shudder, burying myself deeper into the warm sheets.

Sasuke made a grumbling noise, followed by a deep, rather loud yawn that seemed to pull his entire body taught for a moment before relaxing with a sigh. He turned to me, deep smoky eyes glazed with sleep, a soft smile on his lips.

"'Mornin' dobe," he said gently, reaching over and stroking my cheek with tender fingers.

"Morning teme," I whispered back, smiling in a way I was pretty sure made me look bashful, because Sasuke's smile grew wider, his eyes focusing in on me as he escaped the clutches of drowsiness. His lips looked dry. Probably because he slept with his mouth slightly open, something I came to notice after staying with him for a few days.

"Merry Christmas," I whispered, laughing at his hazy eyed confusion before moving in for a quick kiss. "Did you forget after last night?" I asked breathlessly, talking against his lips, which we actually quit soft, like warm velvet.

"S'pose I did…Hard to remember something like that with someone like you by my side I guess. But yeah, Merry Christmas," he chuckled, pressing firmly against my lips. I could taste the smile there, and I suddenly felt giddy.

"So, do you want to actually go out today, or are you still intent on snuggling all day even though I'm close to jumping up and down?" Sasuke's face lit up with a laugh, raven hair falling over his eyes as he sat up, placing a hand on my head and ruffling my probably already terribly messy mop.

"Are you really that hyper then?" I knocked his hand away, clenching my teeth and hoping to appear serious.

"I'm all claustrophobic! I need to get out, stretch my legs. And I'd love to throw a few good snowballs, if it's still winter outside. Or am I your permanent prisoner?" I purred out the question, not minding at all as he stroked my hair again after a long stretch.

"Are you sure you can walk after last night?" He asked seriously, moving his hand from my head to my cheek, running his thumb under my eye. "I don't want you to overdo it and end up hurting yourself Naruto."

"You worry way too much. Doesn't hurt anyway. A little sore, but I'm content to deal with that, thank you. I am a big boy." I closed my eyes, wiggling my shoulders and puffing out my chest, only to deflate as Sasuke laughed, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my naval.

This simple banter between us, the intimate, innocent touches, these were the things I loved so much. The way his face would light up in a smile when I sarcastically yelled at him for silly things, the way his eyes danced when I would steal kisses. It was addicting.

"I suppose I can allow you a moment to breath today. How about I take you to the café again?" I watched, entranced and shivering as his lips moved against my stomach as he spoke, tickling my skin and washing my abdomen with warm breath. "You really seemed to like the sweets they had there. I wouldn't mind fighting over strawberries again."

"But is that what you want to do, Sasuke?" I murmured his name breathlessly as I stroked fingers through his messy raven hair, gently tugging the strands, twirling black ribbons of silk around my pinkie and humming contently.

He chuckled against my belly button, kissing again and nuzzling into my relaxed tummy. "I'd be more than happy to stay like this actually. It's warm here in bed and you're not dressed. I like it."

Sasuke broke into a fit of laughter as I started tugging his hair hard, away from my body. "You pervert! You just want me for my body don't you?" I trilled, trying to crawl away, only to have my rear grabbed and squeezed tightly.

"Not entirely, but I'm not complaining," Sasuke sang, nibbling my side, making me roar with false anger.

"I knew it, you fiend! I've given myself away to a perverted man!" My cries were met with evil cackles and kisses up my torso.

"Yes, and I plan to eat you alive!" He bellowed, catching my mouth in a heated kiss, breath mingled with chortles and pants.

It was the playful teasing like this that made this arrangement so intoxicating. It was emotional, contact, not just sex and lust.

"Sasuke?" My voice was winded, soft and timid, even by my standards. We were calming down, settling back on the bed in a tangle of limbs and kisses.

"Hmm?" His face was flushed from laughter, his smile sincere. He was watching me with dark eyes that I could see myself in. Why where his eyes so deep I wonder…

"Do you…" _Love me? Do you really and truly love me?_ "No…never mind, it's nothing." I just couldn't bring myself to say it. There was no way I could risk shattering…all _this_ because of my selfishness.

"Naruto?"

"No, seriously, it was silly. You know we should leave before your mom wakes up. I'll take a shower first if…"

"Naruto are you alright?" The question was not uncommon. Just a simple inquisition that anyone could have asked me. But for some reason, hearing him ask it made my stomach clench.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I scoffed, running a hand through my hair, cringing. Greasy hair, ugh.

"Because you always say what's on your mind, no matter what people think. So it couldn't possibly be nothing." I let my gaze be captured by Sasuke's knowing stare. Those eyes were so warm and open. Everyone else was used to his cold gaze. Was I that privileged, that trusted, maybe even that _loved_ to be able to receive such a gaze?

The random thoughts just kept coming, didn't they?

I couldn't stop myself from swallowing, breaking our eye contact. "I…guess I'm just nervous. About….about being in a relationship. I'm…I've never even in a healthy one. I guess I'm just scared that I might ruin this one too."

The soft hand on my neck was reassuring, cool and familiar. I didn't look up, simply listened as there was movement, the rustle of sheets as he moved.

"Naruto, I'm going to promise you something, alright? I want you to listen close." Sasuke's voice was firm, solid, leaving no room for arguments. I still didn't look up, even as the hand moved from my neck into my hair. My greasy hair that I needed to wash.

"I'm listening Sasuke," I murmured, closing my eyes and memorizing the feel of his fingers against my scalp.

"I won't leave you."

I instantly felt my heart drop, my stomach clench. Like I was nauseous. I finally looked up at him, feeling pained.

"Don't say that," I pleaded, feeling like my world was going to crash around me again.

His expression was one of confusion. He was startled. I'm sure that was the last thing he expected me to say.

"What do you mean? Naruto, I wouldn't say it if it wasn't something I meant. You should know me well enough to know I mean what I say." He then took on a pained expression, making my heart twist in my chest. "You do know that don't you?"

I could have cried, seeing that look of utter hopelessness on his pale face. I immediately wanted to kiss it away, tell him everything was alright. But I was so scared. Scared of being abandoned, lied to, betrayed, all over again.

"You won't say that in a few years, maybe even months or days. You can't know that anymore than I can. If you d-don't say it, if you change your mind, I can't e heartbroken. I can't get my hopes up and only have them crushed! Do you have any idea how it feels when someone promises you forever and only gives you a little bit of a year? I…I don't want that with you! I want you, now, for as long as I can keep you, but if you say forever, I'll expect it, and then I'll just be crushed! I don't want that with you!"

By the end, I could feel tears stinging my eyes, my throat burned and my mouth was dry. And Sasuke, God, Sasuke looked like he had just been shot in the chest. And I was the one with the smoking gun.

"Do you….do you really feel that way? That I'd lie to you like that? That I of all people would change my mind about something so drastic?" His voice was surprisingly even, but the hurt was tangible.

"No! I..I mean…S-Sasuke I…" I couldn't respond. I had nothing. Sasuke had to be the most honest person I knew. I hurt me to see him so distraught.

I expected him to pull away that hand that still rested in my hair. To pull away and tell me to leave for not trusting him. It hurt to have such expectations, but it was the only plausible thing he could do.

But Sasuke, ever the man to do the unexpected, pulled me close, my face to his chest, where I could hear his heart, feel it pounding. Strong arms around my shoulders held me firm and I stayed there, silent.

"Then at least trust that I'm here. And I don't plan on leaving. Not now, and for as long as I can. Can you trust that, Naruto?"

I don't remember much of what I said after that. I do believe I cried and clung to him. Ever the masculine man, am I right? Needless to say, we stayed in bed all Christmas day, which I didn't mind in the slightest.

Sasuke was _there_, with me. For the moment, that was all I was asking for.

So, I do believe there will only be maybe one or two more chapters. I really have lost interest in this particular fanfiction, but I can't leave it so open ended. I plan on maybe writing a few Harry Potter ones if I can. Anyway, please R&R and I will finish this hopefully by Christmas. Thank you all again for sticking with me!


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